


My Dearest Showman

by Furuba_Fangirl



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Circus, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Discrimination, Family Bonding, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hate Speech, M/M, Mutual Pining, Original Character(s), Period-Typical Racism, Slow Burn, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2019-06-21 13:02:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 39,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15558300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Furuba_Fangirl/pseuds/Furuba_Fangirl
Summary: Connor has performed in his family’s circus for as long as he can remember. Now that he’s older and his father expects him to take over, it’s no longer just fun and games. What started off as a magical family business has turned into a colorless shell of what it used to be. When Connor befriends a boy with a strange ailment named Evan, he gets inspired to reinvent the circus to save his family’s legacy.Or The Greatest Showman AU, in which the Murphys own a circus, Connor and Zoe are trapeze artists, Evan has a condition that makes patches of skin look like wood, Jared has a hunchback and Alana is a contortionist.





	1. The Moment You've Waited For

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, there! If you're reading I'm sorry for subjecting you to this. I got an idea, I went with it and now we're here. This fic is pretty self-indulgent since I love both musicals so idk how far I'll go with this. Sue me. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Edit: I'm taking this story 'til the very end of the line, mofos!

“So are you going to get off your lazy ass and practice with me or are you going to sit around and sulk instead? We have a show tomorrow,” Zoe reproaches as she powders her hands and feet.

Connor is sat with his feet up in one of the benches around the arena, reading a book. “Why do you even want to practice? No one comes to fucking see us perform anyway.”

“That’s not true. Mrs. Madeline comes sometimes with her church friends on the weekends,” Zoe reminds.

Connor tuts, “Wow, ‘cause we should really practice to put on a show for four old broads.”

“Well, as long as we still have willing viewers, that’s all that matters,” she insists, crossing her arms.

“Shit, Zoe. You sound like Mom now. Whom might I remind you, doesn’t come to the shows anymore,” he huffs. “Even Dad hardly shows his face. If it weren’t for the fact that he’s the ringleader, he wouldn’t show up either.”

“Pretty soon, it’ll be your job so why not put in a bit of effort now.”

Connor slams his book down, making Zoe flinch. “Dammit, Zoe! Don’t you think I’ve put in the effort all these years! Haven’t my hands bled and blistered enough for this place. I’m just being realistic here! This place is _dead_!” He grabs his coat off the bench and shoulders it. “The sooner you realize it, the easier it’ll be to let it go.”

He starts heading out the front of the circus tent, trying to ignore her look of deflation. “Where are you going?”

“Does it matter? Anywhere but here,” he grumbles. With that he flicks open the tent doors, leaving Zoe alone in the center of the stage.

Connor starts his trek down the dirt road to reach the town square. He rubs his hands together to keep them warm from the nip of the air, secretly wishing he had brought his gloves. Connor reaches into his coat pocket to pull out a packet of cigarettes. He lights one with a shivering hand, inhaling the warm smoke to fill his lungs.

As he gets closer to town square, he can hear the clicking of hooves and the bustle of people walking around. He scans the marketplace: merchants pitching their sales, children running around, and snobby women bossing their valets around.

He hears something rustle beneath his feet. It’s an old poster, wrinkled and dirtied, that reads “Murphy Circus: Marvel, Mayhem and Magic." A sigh escapes his lips. Connor remembers a time where the town square would empty out on nights they’d have a show. People lining up outside the big top, waiting to be amazed… Waiting to see the glamourous costumes, the majestic animals they trained, the wondrous performances they tirelessly prepared. Then… the magic just flickered out.

People stopped waiting outside. They sold out less and less… Slowly but surely their audience got bored of them.

When the money started tapering away, they couldn’t afford to maintain all their acts. The lions and elephants were sold off, leaving only a few horses. The acrobats and dancers quit to find better jobs with a few loyal performers staying behind. Even now, Connor wonders when they’ll leave too.

He’s tried relentlessly to convince Larry to cut their losses and sell the circus, but he’s refused time and time again… Typical. The business that had brought his family so much joy when he was younger is now tearing them apart.

Connor is pulled from his thoughts by a raucous at the marketplace. “Get the hell out of here! I don’t sell to freaks like you!” someone shouts. Then somebody is being thrown on the ground. People are staring but no one is doing anything.

Connor sees that the merchant is about to kick him and he angrily yells, “Hey! Leave him alone!” He rushes to get in between him and the boy cowering on the pavement.

“Stay out of this Murphy! This ain’t your place of business,” the man growls, gritting his putrid, yellow teeth.

“That may be so, but that doesn’t give you the right to be an asshole,” Connor tells off. “Just go back to selling whatever shit you sell.”

The man spits his chewing tobacco near Connor’s shoes. “Why don’t _you_ go back to sweeping peanut shells, boy?”

Connor grabs him by the suspenders bringing him to eye level. “Don’t. Fucking. Test me,” he warns darkly. He shoves the seller back making him stumble a bit.

He fixes his shirt a bit. “Figures. Freaks gotta stick together,” he jabs before scurrying off.

Connor strokes back some hair from his face and takes a deep breath to calm down. He finally realizes the boy that got pushed is still on the ground. “Hey, you okay?”

The boy pulls up his scarf higher to cover the lower half of his face, only allowing Connor to see a pair of blue eyes. “I’m fine,” he responds a bit muffled. He starts to pick up some of the groceries that had rolled away. Connor kneels down and starts helping him. “O-oh, you don’t have to do that,” he protests.

“Well, I’m doing it,” Connor says nonchalantly.

“Um, okay…” They put the rest of his items into the basket silently as the crowd that formed dissipates.

Connor gets up and offers the boy a hand. The boy blinks at it before taking it tentatively with his gloved hand. As Connor lifts him up, a bit of the other’s skin is exposed when his sleeve hikes up. He only gets a glimpse of it before the boy covers it self-consciously again, but he could see that it looked coarse and dry. However, Connor doesn’t comment on it. “Thanks,” the boy murmurs.

“Don’t mention it.” The boy starts to leave but Connor calls out, “Do you need me to walk you home?”

The boy gives him a look of bewilderment. “N-no, it’s fine, really. You’ve helped enough and I live in the outskirts so it’s pretty far away and I wouldn’t want be any trouble—“

Connor holds up his hand to stop his ramble. _Jesus,_ _does he ever breathe?_   “It’s fine. I can take you home. Besides, it’ll be dark out soon and that’s when even more assholes come out. Seeing how your day went today, I don’t think you wanna be caught alone again.”

He fidgets with the hem of his sweater. “That’s… That’s a good point,” he agrees, finally.

Connor motions forward. “Lead the way.”

-

The walk is silent. Connor is blazing through another cigarette, neither of them knowing what to say to each other. He doesn’t blame the boy though. He had no obligation to say anything to him. Connor just offered to escort him home, nothing more. So it comes as a shock when he finally mumbles, “Um, you— you’re from the circus, right? The _Murphy Circus_ , to be exact. Sorry, that’s stupid to specify. It’s the only circus in town.”

Connor blows a trail of gray smoke and watches it dance up into the chilly autumn sky. “Yep,” he answers shortly.

“I, uh, went to one of your shows once, when I was younger. I saw you and your sister perform. ‘The Flying Murphys.’ You guys… you guys were amazing,” he compliments. “Not—not that you guys aren’t great anymore! I’m sure you guys still do an amazing job! It’s just been a long time since I’ve been there—“

“It’s fine. It’s not like you hurt my feelings or some shit. Besides… you’re not the only one who stopped going so no hard feelings.”

“Oh, a-alright.” He stays silent for a bit. “You know… if it were up to me… I’d go to every show if I could.”

Connor quirks an eyebrow at him. “What’s stopping you?” He observes as the boy buries his face deeper into his scarf, almost instinctively.

“I’m… not supposed to go out much. It increases the chance that people will see…” his voice trails away.

Connor chuckles dryly, “If you don’t want people to see you, the circus is the best place to go. Nobody fucking shows up anymore so you’ll pretty much have the place to yourself.”

“Maybe…” he murmurs.

Connor can tell that he’s not comfortable talking about it, so he doesn’t push it anymore. As they walk further, they start seeing faint lights in the distant. “Um, that’s my place so I can go by myself from here.”

Connor nods his head and he sticks his hand out towards him. “I’m Connor by the way.”

The boy slowly takes it. “I’m Evan, uh, Hansen. Well ‘uh’ isn’t my middle name. It’s just Evan Hansen... yeah. Sorry… I’m weird.”

Connor smiles slightly at that. “Evan Hansen, I grew up in a circus. Weird is not in my dictionary.”

Evan huffs out a faint laugh. “Well, goodbye, Connor. Thank you for your help.” He lets go of his hand and gives him a small wave before disappearing into the dark.

Connor turns back, leaves crunching beneath his boots. There’s a sense a bitter-sweetness after his interaction with Evan. He was reminded of the awe people felt when they left the circus… The awe _he_ invoked in _them_. What he would give to have that back just for a moment…


	2. An Ache You Can't Ignore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Evan and Connor have to deal with their parents

Evan sits at his desk, a small oil lamp illuminating him as he worked on his letter. “ _Dear Evan Hansen, today wasn’t the best day. It actually went pretty badly... Someone saw me and, well, his reaction was as expected. Still, someone helped me today... What are the odds that it would be the brother of your childhood crush? Regardless, it was nice to be treated like a human. Not as a patient or a freak… An actual human. I just wish I didn’t have to hide for people to accept me as I am… Sincerely, me.”_

He hears the front door creak open. “Evan, I’m home,” Heidi calls out.

Evan turns over his paper quickly. “In here, Mom!”

Heidi comes into his bedroom, taking off of the pins holding her nursing hat in place. “Hey, honey, what’s with all the stuff in the kitchen? Did the neighbors drop it off?”

Evan nervously taps his pencil on the desk, “Uh, no, I… I went to go get it,” he admits.

Her eyebrows shoot up. “You— you went out by yourself?! Are you okay? Did anyone see—“

“No, Mom! Nothing bad happened,” Evan lies. “See, I’m fine,” he assures gesturing to himself.

“I can see that, honey. I just wished you had waited for me, that’s all.”

“I mean, I was but, um, I noticed that we didn’t have anything for dinner. And I knew you’d be home late, so I thought I’d make a quick run…” he explains.

Heidi rubs her temple and sighs. “Shit… Evan, I’m sorry. I completely forgot to grab something yesterday but with the extra shift I picked up…”

“Yeah, I know, Mom…”

She pauses for a bit. “Still, I shouldn’t be letting you expose yourself like that.”

“It’s not a big deal. It was cold out so I could wear my scarf, which helped.” Well, it had for a bit until someone at the market accidentally pulled it down. It was at that point that the merchant must’ve seen him.

Heidi seems unconvinced but she accepts his answer. “Alright… Why don’t you wash up and help me make dinner?”

Evan nods and Heidi leaves him be. He gets up to soak his hands in the washing basin, now having to remove his gloves. He has to be ginger when he washes them to not irritate his dry, cracked skin. He grabs a towel and carefully blots them. Evan examines his hands… While his left hand has smaller patches, most of his right hand is completely covered in the rigid skin. In the mirror, he looks at the large patch that spans from his neck up to the left side of his cheek and jaw. He takes a deep breath knowing dwelling on it will only aggravate his anxiety so he turns away to go help his mother.

-

While Evan silently slurps his vegetable soup, Heidi jabbers on about her day at work. “Oh, Darcy was telling me about this doctor that might be able to help with your condition. He studied and trained all over the world, can you believe that? So he knows all about alternative medicine that no one in America has tried. Isn’t that exciting?”

“I guess...” Evan murmurs.

Heidi’s smile falters a little but she reaches out to squeeze his hand. “Can we try to have an optimistic outlook, huh? Maybe this time things will turn out our way. Maybe this time there _is_ a cure…”

“Mhm, sounds good,” he hums… A cure. Evan has long since given up on a cure. If anything, he knew it was only going to get worse. As a child, there were just a few patches so he could get away with hiding most of it. Then his condition started spreading further throughout his body and he had to hide from the world… He just hoped he’d get to step into the sun before it was too late. “But, until then I was thinking, maybe I can start trying to go out more. Just a little bit,” he suggests sheepishly

“Oh, what did you have in mind?”

“I was, uh, remembering about the time that we went to the circus. I was thinking that maybe I can try that again sometime…”

Heidi ponders this for a second. “That’s… a big step. You sure you want to go that route? Maybe you can start off small like… Oh! How about you go to Jared’s house by yourself one of these days? Then we can work our way up from there,” Heidi proposes.

Evan tries to hide his disappointment. He knows that she just trying to protect him but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. “Perfect… Can I go over tomorrow?”

“Sure thing! You’ll see, honey. This is going to be a good year!”

Her son simply nods at that, trying his best not to dampen her hopes…

***

Evan clenches and unclenches his fists trying to calm himself down. He’s shaking but he’s sure it’s more because of nerves than the cold. _This was a mistake. This was a_ really _big mistake_. His gaze pans up from his feet to the red and white, striped tent lumbering ahead of him.

He was going to go to Jared’s, he really was but in a rash moment, he took the turn that led straight into town. Right now, Evan can’t decide if going against Heidi’s wishes is the boldest or stupidest thing that he’s ever done. Although he’s leaning more towards stupid… Still, Connor said not a lot of people showed up (which Evan couldn’t believe why not) so he should be safe, right?

Evan takes a deep breath and readjusts his scarf to ensure it that it’s securely in place. With heavy feet, he makes his way up to the wooden ticket kiosk. There’s a scruffy man in a bowler hat reading through a newspaper. Evan cautiously approaches him and clears his throat. “U-um, excuse me.” The man grunts in acknowledgment. “One ticket, p-please,” he stammers pulling out a few coins his mom gave him that morning.

The man looks up slightly from his paper, a quirk in his eyebrow breaking his stern look. He stares back at Evan, which causes his heart to palpitate. _He knows. He knows you’re a freak. He’s not going to let you anywhere near this place again_.

However, the man simply shrugs, “One ticket coming up.”

Evan sighs in relief and he hands him the money with a slightly shaky hand. The ticket seller hands him a red ticket with “Admit One: Murphy Circus”.

“Enjoy the show,” the man states dully.

“Uh, thanks. Thank you.” He starts walking up to the tent but stops short of the vestibule. It’s dark so he can’t see much past the small corridor. However, he builds up his courage enough to step inside to see the show.

***

“15 minutes ‘til show time,” shouts Larry’s assistant from the adjacent dressing room where the other performers were setting up.

“Thanks, Katarina,” Zoe yells back as she pins her hair up in a bun.

From the corner of her mirror, she can see Larry pacing back and forth like a caged lion. “Where the hell is he?” he huffs impatiently.

“Dad, can you please calm down?”

Larry scoffs at that. “Can you blame me? The show’s about to start and Connor is nowhere to be found.”

“He’ll be here. He always is,” Zoe assures.

He rolls his eyes at her. “Will you quit defending him, Zoe? He’s made it very clear that he doesn’t care.”

At that moment, Connor comes through the curtains. “That’s fucking rich coming from someone who doesn’t bother showing up for rehearsals,” Connor reproaches, shouldering off his jacket.

Larry’s eyebrows furrow but he tries to keep his voice as stoic as possible. “You know why I haven’t been able to show up. I’ve been trying to find the resources to keep this place up. What’s your excuse?”

“The same thing,” he grits. He pulls out a folded up paper from his pocket and hands it to his father.

Larry stares at the flier incredulously. “ _Great American Railroad… Help Wanted._ ”

Zoe looks over Larry’s shoulder and her eyes widen. “…You want to leave?”

Connor shrugs, “If this place keeps going down the shitter, then yeah. I’m going.”

Larry glares at him. “So that’s it. You just want to give up on this place!”

“Well, since you’re too prideful to jump ship, I’ve been looking at options to keep us off the street!”

“What… do you mean?” Zoe presses.

Connor crosses his arm, his anger boiling within. “Go on, Dad. Tell her…” Larry remains silent. “Fine, let me do your dirty work.” Connor turns to a confused Zoe. “I heard him and Mom talking about an eviction notice. We’re on the verge of losing the house and Dad still insists on keeping this place running.”

“Is… that true?” she murmurs, addressing her father now.

Larry let’s out a frustrated sigh. “Yes… That’s why I’ve been looking for people who might be willing to invest in this place… I’m trying my best to protect the family legacy.”

“At the rate we’re going, we won’t even have a legacy _to_ protect.”

“It’s so easy for you to judge me, but I don’t see you trying to fight for this place,” Larry snaps. “You want to run away and find the easy way out!”

“Don’t you dare twist this to make me seem like the bad guy,” Connor barks. “It’s been your shitty decision making that lead us to this situation! If the ‘legacy’ dies it’ll be on you!”

Zoe tries to intervene, “Connor calm down—“

“Well if that’s how you honestly feel then you know where the door is! Wash your hands of any responsibility if that’s what you want!”

“Dad!” Zoe gasps.

“Fine!” Connor screams.

He makes his way past the curtain, Zoe quickly following suit. “Connor! Connor, wait!”

With his children gone, Larry crumples onto a seat, burying his head in his hand.

“Um, Larry…” Katarina mutters. Larry looks up to see her concerned face. “What should I tell everyone else?”

Larry exhales and gets up from his seat. “Tell them to keep getting ready… The show must go on.”

-

Connor weaves underneath the wooden bleachers to reach the exit before Zoe grabs his wrist. “Connor, please! You can’t leave us before the show!”

He pulls his hand away from her grip. “Give me one reason why I should stay! Dad doesn’t want me here and I don’t want to be here either. I’ll be doing everyone a favor if I just leave!”

“Will you keep your voice down,” Zoe hushes. “The audience will hear you.”

Connor sneers, “Oh, I’m sorry. I wouldn’t want to disturb any of our fans.” He pulls Zoe by the shoulders leading her towards the gaps between the benches. “Look at all our spectators, Zo.”

“Connor, please—”

He motions to the rows of empty seats across. “Let’s see who we have here,” he continues to taunt, as Zoe’s eyes start to brim with tears. “Well, you were right. Mrs. Madeline and the church broads are all here! Oh and we’ve got the Weller twins, that’s new.”

“Knock it off!” She cries, shoving Connor away.

“Knock what off? Showing you the truth! Showing you that no one cares! The proof is right there! It’s right fucking there…” His voice trailing off, his eyes fixating on something.

“What?” she sniffs. Zoe wipes away a tear and looks at what Connor is staring at. On the opposite side of the arena, there is a figure sat on the upper-level benches. Upon further inspection, Zoe sees that it is a boy wearing a scarf over his face. “Who’s that?”

Connor doesn’t answer, not believing what he was looking at. “Evan…?”

“Okay, I’ll bite… who’s Evan?”

“He… I met him yesterday at the marketplace. I mentioned that he should come but… I didn’t think he would…” He observes him nervously fidget in his seat, blue eyes darting in every direction. _“I’m… not supposed to go out much.” That’s what he told me… but he’s here anyway._

“Well, he’s here now… You told me to give you a reason to stay… There’s your reason. You should at least do this show out consideration for your friend,” she suggests.

“He’s not really my friend… I don’t even really know him but… I did invite him here,” he admits scratching his scalp.

“So can we please go get ready,” Zoe asks sternly. Connor nods his head in agreement and they silently head backstage. When they step through the curtains, all heads turn to them.

Without a word, Connor walks past Larry and the rest of the performers to grab his costume. Zoe interrupts the silence. “Alright, everybody get into place we have a show to perform!”


	3. Climb 'Til the Spotlight Shines on Your Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan watches the greatest show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has been reading this and has been leaving comments and kudos. I've been having a rough week with family problems so it means the world to me <3

The wooden bench creaks slightly as Evan shifts in his seat. Despite the emptiness of the arena, Evan can’t help but be nervous. In the front, there are a group of elderly women, casually chit-chatting amongst themselves. To their far left, two men are obnoxiously throwing peanuts at each other, notably intoxicated. It may not be a lot of people but to Evan, they pose a risk, regardless. So he chose to sit towards the back where the lighting was dim and where he was in no one’s line of sight.

The hard part was over; he had disobeyed his mother’s wishes, he had walked straight through town and made it all the way here. Now he just had to sit back and enjoy what was to come…

Suddenly, the stage becomes darker and the rhythmic beat of drums starts to fill the air. A pulsing that Evan can feel in his chest like an impending stampede. Then the spotlights shine directly on the red curtain towards the entrance of the arena. Through the sheer curtain, a dark silhouette stands strong and poised. As the beat reaches its crescendo, the silky fabric parts to reveal a tall man wearing a crimson jacket and a black, satin top-hat. He holds an ebony cane with a golden lion head at the tip that matches perfectly with the golden embroidery thread that decorates his vest. He stands motionless, holding his pose until the drumroll comes to an end.

Beat.

The ringleader taps his cane on the dirt floor of the arena, the beat of drums following in tandem. “Ladies and gents, this is the moment you’ve waited for.” Beat. “Been searching in the dark, your sweat soaking through the floor.” Beat. “And buried in your bones there’s an ache that you can’t ignore. Taking your breath, stealing your mind and all that was real is left behind.” He confidently strides onto the dirt show floor, the spotlight following every flamboyant motion. “Don't fight it, it's coming for you, running at ya.” The sound of white stallions decorated in feathered headgear clopping closely behind him. “It's only this moment, don't care what comes after. Your fever dream, can't you see it getting closer. Just surrender 'cause you feel the feeling taking over. It's fire, it's freedom, it's flooding open. It's a preacher in the pulpit and your blind devotion.”  He leaps onto the ringmaster stand, for all to see. “There's something breaking at the brick of every wall, it's holding all that you know. So tell me do you wanna go?” With the twirl of his cane, the arena becomes flooded with light revealing a small group of people in extravagant, brightly colored costumes.

Evan’s eyes are met by a barrage of gracefully choreographed movements and everyone’s voice starts to melt together. “Where it's covered in all the colored lights. Where the runaways are running the night. Impossible comes true, it's taking over you. Oh, this is the greatest show!” He sees a man and woman, tossing flaming knives between them while another performer dances in between the crossfire. “We light it up, we won't come down and the sun can't stop us now. Watching it come true, it's taking over you. Oh, this is the greatest show!” There are three ladies in glittery, tulle dresses pirouetting around the perimeter of the circular stage. Evan is mesmerized by the elegant way the dancers flick their ribbon sticks that match their wardrobe.

With all the wonderful commotion, he doesn’t see if Connor is in the group or not. Still, Evan enjoys as the performers continue their opening number. “It's everything you ever want. It's everything you ever need. And it's here right in front of you. This is where you wanna be. It's everything you ever want. It's everything you ever need and it's here right in front of you. This is where you wanna be. Oh, this the greatest show!” The music ends and everyone is gathered at the center, striking a pose.

Evan is in awe at what he just saw until he remembers to start clapping. The older women follow suit and the drunken twins mostly grunt, which Evan guesses is their form of cheering. It saddens him to see so few people appreciating the wonderful performance he just witnessed. He watches some of the performers trickling backstage, probably getting ready for their next routine.

“Welcome, ladies and gentleman to the mystifying Murphy Circus! Tonight you will be seeing acts like no others,” Larry announces.

“Yeah, yeah, Murphy. Just bring out the girls again,” heckles one of the men.

Larry straightens his collar and continues undeterred. “There will plenty of time for that and so much more. So hang onto your seats, as you step into our world!”

As the night progresses, Evan indeed delves deep into this magnificent world of showmanship. If it weren’t for his gloves, he certainly would have gotten splinters from gripping the wooden seat so tightly. Especially, when one of the knife throwers blindfolded herself and threw them at her spinning assistant. It all takes him back to that childhood wonder that he experienced the first time he came. Sure, there are no more elephants or lions and certainly not as many performers as he remembered but that didn’t take away from his experience.

After that dangerous act, the ringleader hops back onto his pedestal. “Folks, look to the sky! For these two can defy gravity like nobody else!” The lights shift upward and shadowy stars dance on the ceiling of the big top. “Our grand finale is none other than the Flying Murphys!”

At that moment, a young girl steps onto the high-rise platform and waves to the ‘crowd’. Evan’s eyes widen, stunned by her beautiful appearance. She wears an indigo leotard with golden stars stitched into the fabric and ruffles that decorate the waistline. Her chestnut hair is held up in a bun and it is adorned with an elegant peacock feather barrette. It’s a good thing that Evan’s mouth is covered by his scarf because his jaw is dropping.

She takes a running start before launching herself and catching the hoop trapeze. The soft melody of violins begins as she weaves gracefully through the ring. The moment is interrupted by the twins hooting at her. Evan furrows his eyebrow at their lewdness but, luckily, one of the elderly women shushes them. Zoe, however, doesn’t care what’s going on below her because she’s learned to tune out the noise and focus solely on her movements. Because when she’s in the air, she feels unstoppable. Even from where Evan is sitting, he can see her subtle smile as she performs.

His heart nearly stops when she hangs herself by her ankles, the tension in the music spiking. Soon, another figure swoops in to grab Zoe by the hands. The spotlight now reveals Connor hanging from his knees as he tosses her to the alternate trapeze swing behind him. He’s wearing a similarly colored unitard like his sister and his long locks are pulled back in a ponytail. Evan can’t help but notice the flex of his muscles as he swings and flips between the trapezes. His athleticism and strength equally as stunning as Zoe’s beauty.

Evan is completely entranced by the siblings as they catch and throw each other. There are the times where they tease the audience by pretending to almost drop each other. For their final trick, Zoe does a mid-air somersault and Connor catches her by one arm while only hanging by one leg, earning an audible gasp from Evan. He pulls her onto the aerial hoop and she hops back onto the platform. Once they’re both on there, they give their bow to conclude their act. Evan gets up from his seat and starts clapping to give them the standing ovation they deserve.

Larry and the rest of the performers head back to the arena to give their bows as well. “Thank you, ladies and gentleman! We hope to see you again!”

Evan watches as the group of women start to leave and the twins stumble out their seats, not before repulsively blowing kisses at some of the remaining female performers. Once he sees that most everyone has left the stage, Evan gets up from his seat as well. He reaches the bottom of the wooden bleachers, he hears a voice call, “Hey! Hansen, hold up!” Evan instinctively tightens his scarf as he halts where he stands. There’s a sigh of relief when he sees Connor climbing down the ladder, Zoe following behind.

“Oh, uh, hi,” Evan stammers, giving him a shy wave. Connor steps off the ladder and walks to Evan while Zoe headed backstage. “So…”

“So…” Connor repeats. “You actually came…”

“Um, yeah… I thought I’d try something different today a-and you said that there wouldn’t be a lot of people so, here I am,” he explains nervously tugging at his coat sleeve.

“Right… Well, sorry if it wasn’t what you expected.”

“No, no! It was! I thought it was amazing. Especially, you and your sister. You guys were… breathtaking,” he compliments not meeting Connor’s eyes.

Connor stares back at the flustered boy, feeling a tickle in his stomach. “…It’s been a while since someone has said that. So thank you,” he admits, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear.

Evan looks back at him, the corner of his eyes slightly wrinkled from the soft smile hidden beneath the fabric. “You’re welcome.”

“Um… Do you need a walk home? If you give a few minutes to get out of this, I can take you,” he offers, gesturing to his outfit.

“Oh! I have to leave now before my mom gets home, but thanks anyway.”

Connor nods his head in understanding. “Alright then… Thanks again for coming.” He gives him a small salute and turns around to go backstage with everyone else.

Before Connor disappears, Evan takes a deep breath and blurts, “Connorwhensthenextshow?”

Connor turns his head and quirks his eyebrow at him. “Come again?”

“When… When is the next show?” he asks again.

“A week from today,” Connor answers.

“Then I, uh, guess I’ll see you then!” he calls out.

The other boy raises his eyebrows at Evan. “Hm, I guess so, Evan.” Connor turns to leave again, but this time… Evan could have sworn there was a small smile on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick question: would you guys be interested in me including characters from the Greatest Showman (specifically the circus acts like Lettie Lutz, General Tom Thumb, maybe even Jenny Lind, etc.)? It's not a sure thing but I'd like to know your guys thoughts.


	4. Where Do We Even Start?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan and Connor have time to get to know each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a fluffy bonding chapter that I hope y'all like

Evan pushes past the tent doors of the vestibule. Everything is dimly lit except for the arena where he sees Zoe practicing her aerial routine. Evan scans his surrounding to see if Connor is around but he fails to find him. _Dammit. I’m early. I knew I shouldn’t have left the house so soon. I guess I could ask Zoe but what if I break her concentration? What if she falls and gets hurt and it’ll be my fault—_

“Evan?” Zoe calls down, making him jump.

“Oh, h-hey, Zoe,” he chokes out. “I was supposed to meet Connor but I think I’m early. Sorry. I’ll just go and come back in a bit—“

“Wait, hold on! You don’t have to leave. Connor is just at the stables behind the big top. I can take you to him if you want?”

“Oh, I don’t want to interrupt your practice! It’s fine really.”

Zoe smiles at him and waves her hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about me. I need a break anyways. Let me grab my coat from the changing room and I can show you the way.”

Before he can protest any further, Zoe tugs on the rope and gently lowers the trapeze hoop until her feet touch the dirt floor. “I’ll be right back. You can take a seat if you want.”

Evan nods his head and sits down on the nearest bench. It’s a strange feeling being here… Sure he’s been catching all the shows these last couple of weeks but his visits are evolving into something more. Connor and Evan both realized that they didn’t get much time to talk after the shows, on account of Heidi’s schedule, so Connor invited him to come visit during rehearsal hours. Connor had warned him that it might be boring but Evan would rather spend his time at the circus than alone at home. Also, he admittedly liked being in Connor’s company... Nobody had ever really given that to Evan so he’ll gladly take it.

Evan hears a whistle and he sees Zoe, now donning a wool coat, motioning to him. “Come on, let’s go!”

-

The wooden doors creak slightly as Zoe pulls them open. The hay beneath their feet rustles as they shuffle into the warmth of the stable. Inside, Evan hears the soft snorts and neighs of the corralled horses. “Connor! Where are you?” Zoe calls.

There’s a tapping farther down the line of the, mostly empty, stalls. “In here, Zo,” Connor announces. Evan and Zoe maneuver their way to where his voice came from and they peer inside to see Connor grooming a cream-colored mare. Zoe carefully opens the stall, as to not scare the horse. “Did you need something?” Connor asks as he continues to brush the horse’s mane.

“Brought you something.” She gives Evan’s sleeve a tug to bring him into view.

Connor finally turns his head to see Evan give him a shy wave. “Shit, I was late wasn’t I?”

“No, no, no! _I_ was early, actually. Zoe was nice enough to bring me here,” Evan answers hurriedly.

“Oh… Thanks, Zo.”

“Don’t mention it. I’ll leave you two to it then.” Zoe lets Evan step inside and she makes her exit.

Evan rocks back on his heels not sure how to start the conversation, yet. “So, um, do you do this a lot? Tend to the horses, I mean.”

Connor nods his head. “Yep. I’ve taken it upon myself since we couldn’t afford to keep our stable boy. So here I am.” He puts the brush back into the small caddy he was carrying.

“Oh. Sorry.”

He shrugs. “It’s whatever. I actually don’t mind. As a kid, I used to help around so I know how to take care of them…” Connor hesitates a bit before continuing, “I actually raised one since she was a calf.”

“Really? Tell me about it. T-that is if you want to!” Evan quickly adds.

Connor’s eyes light up at this opportunity. “Oh, man, she was amazing! Her name was Orelia. We named her that because her coat was this blonde color that would shine like gold in the sun. She was unruly as hell though. She knew how to kick before she knew how to walk. Everybody was too afraid to go near her, but not me… Sure, I got the wind knocked out of me a few times while I tried to feed her but I think that made me more determined to tame her. Maybe it was because I was equally as stubborn as her that I eventually got through to her.” Evan can’t help but smile at how excited he is talking about this. “She never performed because she would never listen to any of the other jockeys so really she was my horse. I’d take her out riding early in the mornings anytime my parents got on my nerves. It was good way to clear my head… I loved that horse to death.”

Evan notices his face fall a bit. “Um, if you don’t mind me asking… what happened to her?”

Connor huffs and runs his fingers through his hair. “When things started going downhill in the circus, we had to sell off most of the horses… Orelia included.” His eyebrows furrow and his lips are in a thin line. “My dad he— he promised he wouldn’t! But I guess a breeder gave him an offer he couldn’t refuse and… that was that. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to her. But, hey, at least he got a chunk of money to keep this place afloat just a little longer, right?” He rants cynically, his voice shaking with anger. It was at that point that Connor stopped trusting Larry. It was also a that point that he realized the circus would take everything from them because of his father’s unwillingness to change…

Evan looks at the taller boy with wide eyes, baffled at how distraught he was. “I’m so sorry, Connor…” he murmurs softly.

Connor shakes his head. “Don’t be…” He sighs heavily, “I shouldn’t have unloaded on you like that. So, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine… I’m glad you told me.” Connor accepts that answer with a nod. There’s a long silence before, Evan decides to change the subject a bit. “What about this one,” he asks, referring to the horse in their presence. “I’ve never seen her during the show,” Evan points out.

He affectionately pats her back. “Yeah, old Willow’s performing days have been over for a while now. We couldn’t sell her because of her age so she doesn’t get out much, unfortunately.”

“Um… Can I maybe pet her?”

“Sure thing.” Connor steps aside a bit to give him room. “Start off by petting her neck. She’ll be a little skittish at first but nothing to be worried about.” He does as he’s told and cautiously runs his gloved hand over her fur. She whinnies a bit but Connor encourages Evan to continue and he softly caresses her neck muscle. From the corner of his eyes, he sees Connor digging for something in his coat pocket. “Here. She’ll trust you more if you give her some of these.” He holds out a couple of sugar cubes toward Evan and he graciously takes them.

The nervous boy looks up at Willow to see her ebony black eyes staring back at him. He slowly lifts his hand to present her with the sweet treats. At first she just sniffs at Evan’s hand, but eventually, she laps up the cubes earning a small laugh from him. Connor wonders how Evan’s smile looks underneath that navy blue fabric. If it’s as nice as his laugh…

Evan turns his head and notices Connor looking at him. It's not in a rude way, but more...curious “W-what? Am I doing something wrong?”

Connor is snapped from his thought. “N-no, you’re fine. I was kinda wondering about when I’ll get to hear the full story behind that,” he explains, pointing at the scarf.  

Evan pushes his scarf up higher, a nervous tick that Connor has taken notice of. “I— You really wouldn’t want to know… If you did… you probably wouldn’t want to be around me anymore.” He averts his gaze from Connor and stares at his dust-covered boots instead. Evan considers Connor a friend and he wouldn’t want to lose that because of his condition.

Connor can see that he’s not comfortable with that question. “Okay. If you don’t wanna, you don’t have to. That’s fine by me.” He hums, “What about your family? Is that something you don’t mind talking about?”

“O-oh, yeah that’s fine. Really, it’s just me and my mom… Um, my dad left when I was little so I haven’t heard from him much. And, well, my mom she’s a nurse and she works a lot so I don’t get to see her much... Yeah, I guess there’s not much I can say about my family then.”

“Hmm, okay then what do you like to do for fun?”

Evan ponders this for a second. “I like to write. It helps me sort through my thoughts on bad days. And… I like going to the forest.”

“What do you like to do there?”

“Well… I wander around looking at the trees, trying to identify each type from books my mom gets from the library. Somedays I just like sitting at the base of the trees, just feeling the breeze and listening to the birds and crickets. If it’s a good day, I’ll climb the tree as high as I can!” Connor can hear a flicker of eagerness in his voice.  “I’ll just keep climbing and climbing until I can see the sunshine and…” Suddenly he feels self-conscious. “Um, yeah, that’s about it… It’s pretty dumb.”

“No, it’s not, Evan. If you like doing it, then you shouldn’t be embarrassed by it.”

“I guess…”

Connor nudges Evan’s shoulder. “Hey, how about this? How about one of these days I take you somewhere I think you’ll like. Deal?”

Evan stares at Connor giving him, a small reassuring smile and he can't help smile too. “Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I can't say thank you enough for all the support. What started off as a side-project from my main story has started to become something bigger so thank you guys for inspiring me <3


	5. We Are the Runaways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan gets an unexpected visitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for delaying your reading experience, but I can't get over the fact people are actually reading my story :0 I honestly didn't expect this to get much support so thanks a bunch in advanced <3 Love you all!

Evan looks at the mirror making sure that his scarf is well-adjusted. As he slips on his gloves, he hears a knock at the door. Evan panics for a split second thinking that Heidi might have returned from work but he quickly realizes she wouldn’t have knocked if she had.

He peeks through the curtain of the front window and but he can only see a silhouette standing at the doorway. Evan is relieved but mostly confused when he opens the door to see a familiar face. “Oh, h-hey, Jared.”

“Hey, Treeboy! Long time no see,” Jared greets. Despite his slouching posture, Jared Kleinman still manages to come off as the smuggest person Evan knew (even though he didn’t know many people, but that’s beside the point). “So are you gonna let me in or… did I catch you on your way out,” he smirks.

 Evan gulps, “No, not all. I was just—“

“Good. Now if you’ll excuse me. I’m freezing my ass off.” Jared pushes past a dumbstruck Evan and enters the house. He grabs an apple from their fruit bowl.

Evan watches as Jared makes himself comfortable on the couch. He pulls down his scarf seeing as he isn’t gonna leave anytime soon. “Uh, Jared, not to be rude or anything but what are you doing here? You don’t come visit unless my mom invites you over.”

Jared takes off his thick, brown coat, now revealing the rather large swell of his back. “See that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I had a very interesting encounter with her this morning. You see I was going to my monthly checkup at the hospital when I ran into her during her shift and we had the loveliest conversation,” he retells.

Evan can feel his hands sweating within his gloves. “What did you guys talk about?”

He takes a bite from the apple not acknowledging the dread in Evan’s voice. “Oh, just about how happy she was that you and I have been spending so much time together. That she was glad that you had a friend you can count on. Which, I think you can agree, is not true considering we’re just family friends.”

“You— Did you tell her that? Did you tell her that we haven’t been spending time together,” he presses anxiously.

“Ok. Please stop hyperventilating.”

“I’m not hyperventilating,” he assures haggardly.

“You’re having considerable trouble breathing.”

“I am having no trouble breathing,” he grits.

“Do you need a paper bag to breathe in?” he teases.

Evan finally snaps, “I am not hyperventilating!”

Jared raises an eyebrow at him with an amused laugh. “I’m just fucking with you, Evan! Relax.”

Evan takes a deep breath to calm himself down. “Okay,” he sighs. “What exactly did you tell my mom?”

Jared hums indifferently, “Not much. Just that I was glad too and I would see you later. I figured there must have been a pretty good reason for you to lie to your poor, sweet mother, so I didn’t push it.”

Evan’s stomach clenches with guilt. “I-I’m not doing it to hurt her or anything… I just wanna get out of the house without having her freak out about it,” he mutters.

“Fair enough. So, now tell me. What has Evan Hansen been up to in the real world? I did cover for you so I think you at least owe me an explanation.” The other boy stays quiet not knowing if he can trust Jared with this information. Jared rolls his eyes and reclines back on the couch, discarding his apple core. “Well, I have the whole afternoon free so I’m not going anywhere. You’re free to go but I can’t guarantee you I won’t talk when Heidi comes back.”

“…Fine,” he relents.

“See was that so hard. Now, will you sit down before you tell me? You look like you’re about to have an aneurysm.”

Evan huffs in defeat and pulls up a chair, seeing as Jared had taken up the rest of the couch. “Just… don’t judge me too harshly.”

“Oh, God. It’s a sex thing isn’t it?”

“What?! Why would you automatically think that?” Evan exclaims.

“Well, given your condition, selling your sexual services may be a viable option. I mean, are clients really gonna be looking that closely at you when you’re on your knees—“

“Okay, Jared, obviously not,” he defends, his face bright red with embarrassment. “You couldn’t be more wrong. I’ve just been spending time at the circus, that’s all!”

At first, Jared’s eyes widen but ultimately he laughs, “Oh. My. God. You’re running away to join the circus!”

“It’s not like that, Jared,” Evan clarifies. “I just like catching the shows.”

“And here I thought that place was dead. I haven’t seen anyone go inside there in a long time.”

“See that’s the thing, that’s why it’s perfect for me. I get to go watch and I usually have the place to myself so there’s no real risk of people seeing me… And I made a friend.”

That piques Jared’s interest. “Ooh, the plot thickens. Who is this mystery friend?”

“Um, his name is Connor. He’s the trapeze act for the circus and the owner’s son. He, uh, helped me at the marketplace when I was getting harassed by one of the merchant’s and he invited me to the show. We’ve been hanging out since…”

“So that’s it?”

“Yep. That’s it… So can I trust you not to tell my mom about this?” Evan stares at his hands waiting for him to answer.

Jared pretends to deliberate his question. “Hmm… Sure why not?”

Evan’s eyes snap up. “Really?”

“Sure, I’ll keep your rendezvous with circus boy a secret.”

“Th-Thank you, Jared. It means a lot—“

“Hold up. I have one condition,” he interjects.

“O-oh.” _Of course he does._

“I want to go to the next show.”

Evan looks at him with blankly. “Why would you want to do that?” he asks, skeptically.

“Trust me, you are not my first person of choice to go out with. However, I need time away from my home too and freaks like us should stick together. Therefore, since I’m your alibi, now you can be mine.”

“I guess that makes sense…”

“Great! Now, when is the next show?”

“It’s, uh, this Saturday.”

“Alright then. Saturday it is.” Jared lifts himself off the couch, smoothing the wrinkles from his shirt. “Well, this was a good talk. I don’t want to hold you any more than I have to so I’ll be going.” He pulls his coat on and pats Evan on the shoulder. “I’ll stop by the house later”

“A-alright,” Evan agrees reluctantly. “

“See you then, Treeboy.” Jared sees himself out, leaving a baffled Evan alone.

 _Things just got more complicated…_ He takes a minute to compose himself before covering up his face again and exiting the house to go meet Connor.

-

“So, let me get this straight… Your so-called ‘friend’ is blackmailing you to bring him to the circus?” Connor is sat on the bleachers with Evan, listening to what happened earlier.

“I-I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s blackmail. It’s just more of, uh, a compromise I guess. And really were more ‘family friends,’” he justifies.

“Well no offense, but your ‘family friend’ sounds like a dick," Connor deadpans.

Evan snorts a bit. “He can be sometimes but, um, he’s the only person I know who understands what it’s like to have to hide from the world… So I get why he wants to come,” he concludes.

Connor tilts his head at him as he leans back on his arms. “Okay. If you’re fine with it then so am I. But if he does decide to open his mouth, I can’t guarantee that I won’t kick his ass. I’m not gonna lose my only friend just because he can’t keep his trap shut.”

Connor realizes what he said as soon as he sees Evan’s eyes widen. “You think of me as a friend…?”

 The taller boy turns his face a bit so Evan can’t see the light blush on his cheeks. “Of course I do, Evan.” Suddenly, a feeling of doubt fills Connor’s chest. “Unless you don’t think the same thing about me—“

“No, no, no! Of course, I think you’re my friend! It’s just… it’s hard for me to wrap my head around why see me that way…” Evan stares down at his feet.

“Well, we’ve been hanging almost every day now and you’re pretty much the only thing that makes this place bearable anymore. So, yeah… we’re friends,” Connor assures.

Evan looks up, the corners of his eyes wrinkled from the wide smile underneath. “I’m glad…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jared makes an entrance!


	6. Nowhere Else I'd Rather Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor keeps his promise and takes Evan out for the day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get your dentists! This chapter is filled with tooth-rotting fluff.

“Connor, you sure this is okay? Won’t your dad be mad that we’re taking one of the show horses?” Evan asks worriedly.

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” Connor answers matter-of-factly as he saddles up one of the stallions.

“How far exactly is this place? Can’t we just walk there?”

“Evan, lighten up a bit would ya. It’s not far from here but the point is to take you on your first horse ride.”

“Oh, I didn’t think of it that way…”

“Hey, if you don’t want to it’s fine. If you prefer to walk we can do that,” Connor offers.

The fidgeting boy takes a moment to think about his options. “Let’s… go for a ride.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah… I trust you.”

Connor feels that familiar tickle in his stomach again. “Alright, it’s settled then.” Connor reigns the horse out of the stall and both of the boys walk out of the stable. Once they’re outside Connor steps on the stirrup and swings his leg over the saddle. After he’s settled in, he holds out his hand to Evan to hoist him up.

Once Evan is seated, Connor turns his head around to see him with his hands rested on his thighs. “Uh, Evan, unless you want to eat shit once we get going, I suggest you hold on tight.”

“Um, right. Where should I…?”

_This kid I swear_. “Just hold on to me. It’s not a big deal,” he assures.

Evan nods his head and tentatively wraps his hands around the other boy’s waist. He’s pressed so closely he can feel his warmth and can smell the subtle tobacco in his coat. Evan buries his face into his scarf to hide the fact that he’s blushing. “I-is this okay? I don’t want to cut off your breathing.”

“You’re fine. Just relax and try to have fun, okay?”

“O-okay,”

“Let’s go then.” Connor snaps the reigns lightly and the horse starts galloping to their destination, away from the circus and even further past town.

As they trot along the dirt road, he feels Evan’s grip loosen a bit. “You still doing okay back there?”

 Evan holds his thumb up before gripping onto Connor again. “It’s actually pretty… calming. If that makes sense considering we’re on a moving animal?”

Connor chuckles a bit. “Well, today I’m going easy on you but I do wanna show you how fast these guys can go. The first time I rode a horse by myself I thought it would be a good idea to snap the reigns as hard as I could. Which may or may not have ended with me in a shrub… It was fucking amazing.”

He hears Evan stifle a giggle. “If you’re trying to convince me, that’s not necessarily the story I’d go with.”

“But are you not a little tempted to try now?”

“… A little bit,” Evan admits.

As they go farther down the road, a wooden fence comes into view. Connor steers the horse off to the side of the tree line. “We have to get off here,” he instructs, as he swings his legs off the saddle and hops to the ground with a soft thud. Once he helps Evan get down, Connor ties the horse to a nearby tree. “He’ll be fine here. He knows to wait for me when I come to this place,” he assures before Evan can worry about it.

The boys walk towards the fence and Evan’s eyes meet a sign painted in fading black letters that read: NO TRESPASSING. “Connor, that sign seems very specific. I don’t think we should be here.”

The thinner boy rolls his eyes at him. “I’ve been here dozens of time, Ev, and I haven’t gotten caught once.”

“I-I’m sorry. I know I can be annoying with all my questions and with how much I worry. I said I trusted you and I shouldn’t be pestering you about my dumb insecurities,” he stammers.

Connor sighs and gives Evan a pat on the shoulder. “Hey. You don’t annoy me. It’s just that, usually, I don’t give a shit about anything and well… you give too much of it. So, I guess we both have a bit of learning curve to get through.”

Evan nods his heads and takes a deep breath. “Right… let’s do this!”

Connor finds himself smiling at his sudden determination. He directs Evan to a section of the fence where the planks are loose. Connor parts them enough for Evan to crawl in first and he follows behind.

Evan dusts the dirt off of his trousers before taking a look at his surroundings. His blue eyes widen at the sight of a field framed with trees. In the distant, he can see the vibrant orange of their leaves. “Woah… What is this place?”

“It used to be an apple orchard. It closed a few years back when the apple trees got infected with a blight.” He sits down on one of the stumps that was once, presumably, the diseased tree he was referring to. Connor stares out toward the remaining trees, a feeling of nostalgia washing over him.  “On our days off, we would come have picnics near the meadow over there,” he retells motioning to the general direction. “Zoe and I would look for four-leaf clovers or we would wade in the creek together… That was when things were less complicated.”

Evan sits down on a stump adjacent to Connor. “I’m glad that… you took me to a place that means so much to you.”

Connor grins shyly. “I figured you’d be the ideal person to take. Not only are you my only friend but I also remember you saying that you were a tree expert.”

“Well, I don’t necessarily remember putting it _that_ way but… yes, I do know a lot about them,” he confesses.

Connor chuckles. “Come on.” He gets up from his seat. “Teach me a thing or two about them then.”

They stroll past the stump speckled area toward the tree line. As they walk through the forest, Evan watches as the orange and yellow leaves flutter down from the branches like confetti. He identifies them as sycamores and continues to tell Connor about their average height and life-span.

By the time he finishes his discourse, they reach the creek Connor had mentioned. They settle down the base of the nearest tree and listen to the babbling of the water. Connor tucks his arm behind his head while Evan keeps his tucked in his coat. Slowly both boys succumb to the relaxing ambiance noises and they start to doze off.

Connor is the first to wake up and rubs the grogginess from his eyes. He notices a weight on his shoulder and turns to see Evan slumped against him. A feeling of fondness grows in his chest as he watches his friend peacefully sleeping. Evan stirs a bit, his eyes flickering open to see Connor staring back at him. “S…Sorry,” Connor apologizes as he turns his burning face away. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”

Evan pulls away and clears his throat before answering, “I-it’s fine. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you so I guess we’re even.” He adjusts his scarf to ensure it’s still in place. “How long do you think we were out?”

Connor is relieved that he didn’t point out he was staring at him like a weirdo. He shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe an hour or so. It looks like the sun is going to set soon.”

Evan yawns and stretches his arms out. “We should probably get going before it gets dark out.”

Connor nods his head before pausing. “Wait… I have an idea before we leave. If you’re still up for it?”

“Sure… What is it?”

Connor lifts himself up and motions Evan to do the same. “Follow me.”

Evan trails behind Connor as he walks over a log to cross the creek. They tread farther along until they come to a clearing where there is a giant oak tree on the opposite side. “You said you liked climbing trees. Wanna give that one a try?”

Evan pans up the magnificent tree, which he estimates is about a good thirty feet tall. His eyes light up as he looks at Connor. “Race you to it!” Just like that, Evan dashes past him toward the tree.

“Hey! Dick move, Hansen,” Connor shouts as he sprints behind Evan, who is laughing mischievously. Despite Evan’s head start, Connor manages to catch up to him fairly quickly. By the time the boys reach the tree, they’re both out of breath.

“Draw?” Evan wheezes.

“Sure, but I totally would’ve won if you hadn’t cheated,” he huffs.

“…Probably.”

Once they finish catching their breath, Evan and Connor start their ascent one branch after the other. They climb so high that they start to see the tops of the other trees and the sun peeking just up above the horizon. Evan perches himself on the same branch as Connor and lets his leg sway back and forth. “This is amazing… Hey, Connor. Is this what it feels like when you’re up on the trapeze?”

“Hmm, sort of. There’s definitely more pressure and responsibility since I have to keep myself and Zoe safe. But… the feeling of being so high up in the air that the rest of world fades away is exactly the same.”

“Yeah… I can understand that. For me, climbing trees has always been my escape. On the ground, I have to worry about the worst of me being seen but up here… none of that matters. It’s just me… and now I guess both of us.”

Connor smiles that small, genuine smile that Evan has come to know. “Yeah… it is.”

The sun starts to dip below the horizon and they both realize that it is time to go. As Evan starts to make his descent, he looks up to see Connor taking in the view one last time; the last sunlight of the day, highlighting the gold in his brown hair. Evan smiles and thinks about how great the day has been.

If only it could last forever…

In a split second, there’s a cracking noise that ripples through the air and Evan feels the branch beneath his feet give way. Connor looks down in shock as Evan dangles from a branch, his legs desperately trying to find another foothold. Evan only manages to choke out, “Connor!”

“Shit! Evan, hold on!” Connor desperately weaves his way down the labyrinth of branches, desperately trying to reach Evan in time.

Unfortunately, Evan’s grasp is hindered by his gloves and he slowly starts to lose his grip. He doesn’t even have time to properly scream before tumbling the last ten feet to the ground, hitting a few branches on his way down.

Connor looks down in horror as he sees Evan motionless on the ground. “Evan!” Connor rushes down, not caring about the splinters and scratches he gets in the process. As soon as his feet hit the floor, he rushes to Evan who’s lying face down. Connor gently shakes him, to make sure he doesn’t hurt him. “E-Evan… Evan, come on. Wake up!”

He stirs slightly, and Connor sighs in relief. Evan slowly lifts his aching body from the ground. “Fucking hell, Evan! You nearly gave me a heart attack! You okay?”

“It feels like I fell out of a tree but other than that I’m fine.” Evan lifts his head and Connor’s eyes widen. “…What?”

“Evan… Your scarf…”

Evan puts a hand to his face and realizes that the piece of fabric is no longer there. Evan turns around frantically looking for any sign of his scarf. Finally, he sees it hanging from one of the branches and realizes that it got snagged when he fell. The boy’s breathing starts to become shallow as the severity of the situation hits him. His crackled skin is now completely exposed… and now Connor knows. He knows he’s a freak.

Connor slowly walks toward. “Hey, Evan… Calm down. It’s fine—

“Don’t look at me!” Evan begs as he backs away. “Just leave me alone!” He turns around and races back to the forest before Connor has time to react.

“Evan! Evan come back! EVAN!”

Connor’s voice becomes more distant as Evan runs further away. _This was a mistake. All of this was a huge mistake. I thought I could have a normal friendship… A normal life but… freaks like me don’t get that… We get a life in the shadows where no one can hurt or judge us… A place where the sun won’t burn…_


	7. Just You and Me Within These Walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan wants to forget the incident at the forest but he soon realizes he can't run forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh double upload this week who is she? Unfortunately, it might be a few weeks until the next chapter comes out cause I'll be busy this month :p But I hope you enjoy the new chapter <3 Love y'all

In the dark, Evan stumbles over a tree root and falls to his knees… again. He huddles into himself as tears freely fall, his sobs echoing through the night. He’s not sure how far he’s run or for how long for that matter but he does know that he’s exhausted. Regardless, he knows he can’t stay out here much longer. All he could do is wipe his face off and pick himself off the floor.

***

At home, Heidi paces around the living room worriedly. She knows Evan was going out but he’s usually back before she is. She hears the doorknob turn and she sighs in relief. “Hey, kiddo, you’re home. I was starting to get worried…” Heidi gasps to see Evan’s disheveled appearance. His coat and pants are covered in mud and there are dry leaves in his hair. “Evan, w-what happened to you?” She cups his face to inspect the scratches on it.

“I’m fine, Mom… I just, I was hanging out in the forest today and I fell asleep and well, by the time I woke up it was already dark out so it took me a while to find my way home… I’m sorry.”

“The forest? I thought you said you were going to Jared’s.”

“I did! I mean, for a little bit. I stopped by his house but he wasn’t there so I thought since I was already out of the house… It was dumb, I know.”

“Oh, honey…” Heidi pulls her son into a hug. “I was so worried about you.”

“I know. It won’t happen again…” he promises solemnly.

Heidi’s heart breaks at seeing him upset. “Are you sure nothing else happened?”

“That’s all, Mom, except… I lost my scarf. I’m gonna have to get a new one.”

Heidi suspects that’s not the whole truth but she decides not to push him. “Hey, why don’t we do this? I’ll draw you a bath and I’ll clean those scratches for you. Sound good?”

“Yeah, it does…”                                                                      

Heidi smiles at him softly and leads him to his room to get him cleaned up.

-

The next morning, Heidi sips on her coffee while Evan slowly eats his oatmeal. “So are you planning on going out today?”

Evan shakes his head. “I just want to rest… It was a long day yesterday.”

“Okay… I’ll see if I can go get you a scarf on my break, okay?”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“You’re welcome. Rest up and I’ll see you later.” She gives him a kiss on the top of his head before heading out. Evan puts his dishes away before heading back to his room. He grabs his pencil and a piece of paper to start off his letter but the words don’t flow out. He doesn’t want to think about today or tomorrow or the day after that because… everything will be the same as it used to be. There will be no circus… no Connor… So what’s the point?

Evan jumps when there’s a knock at the door. He thinks he should just ignore it since he doesn’t have his scarf to even answer it. However, the incessant knocking continues and Evan begins to suspect it’s Jared considering they were supposed to go to the circus tomorrow. He gets up from his desk and heads to the door. “I’m coming, Jared, jeez!” Evan opens the door and warns, “Although I’ve got some bad news for you—“ His words get stuck in his throat as he sees not Jared, but Connor standing there.

“Hey… Can we talk?”

Without thinking, Evan slams the door and locks it in a panic. He presses his back to the door and slides down to the floor. _No, no, no! He can’t be here._ He clenches his hand on his chest trying to keep himself from hyperventilating.

Connor groans, “Evan, come on. Open up. We need to talk, please.”

“Can you please just go away? I… I don’t want you to look at me. I don’t want anyone to see me…”

Connor lets his head thud on the door. “You can’t keep hiding from the world, Evan. Please, let me in.”

Evan buries his face in his knees. “I’ve hidden my whole life, Connor… I’m used to it. You should do yourself the favor and go.”

He can hear the other boy sigh in frustration. “Well, you underestimate my stubbornness, Hansen. I’m not going anywhere. I’m just going to make myself comfy on the porch until you let me.”

“You can’t stay there forever.”

“Says you,” Connor challenges.

“You’ll get hungry sooner or later.”

“Maybe.”

“You’ll have to go to the bathroom, eventually.”

“Well, sucks for your Mom’s rose bushes.”

Evan’s eyebrows furrow. “Fine, suit yourself.”

“Fine.” Evan can hear the floorboards creak as Connor sits down on the porch.

Aside from being annoyed at Connor’s persistence, Evan is confused. He doesn’t understand why he would give him the time of day after seeing his… condition. Maybe he wanted to make fun of him or maybe it was just pity like he was a mangy dog or something… Still, if it were for those reasons, why would he go to the length of waiting outside for him?

Evan exhales as he realizes that he should give Connor a chance to talk. He lifts himself from the floor and looks around for something he could use to cover up. He grabs the afghan blanket hanging from the couch and wraps it around his face. He grabs his gloves quickly before going back to the door. With a shaking, hand Evan unlocks the door and cracks it open slightly.

Connor turns his head to see Evan peeking out at him. _Well, that was fast._

“Come in,” Evan instructs meekly.

Connor lifts himself up and steps into the house as Evan opens the door for him. He realizes Evan has his face covered again. “Evan… Don’t you think we’re a little past that?” He motions at the knitted blanket.

“You wanted to talk… This is how I want to talk.” He rubs his arm nervously. “Uh, do you want to sit down?”  He nods his head before sitting down on the sofa as Evan sits across from him. “Well?”

Connor stares at him intensely, a slight clench in his jaw. “For starters, I just wanted to say… Fuck you! Do you have any idea how worried I was about you, asshole?” he reprimands.

Evan blinks at him in utter shock. “Wait, what—“

“I spent hours looking for you!” Connor’s face starts turning red as he continues to fume. ”For fuck’s sake, Evan, you fell out of a fucking tree and you just ran off! I didn’t know if you were hurt or if you’d find your way back! I—“ Connor takes a deep breath and puts his head in his hands. “I wouldn’t forgive myself if something happened to you, Ev.”

Evan’s heart wrenches in his chest. “You… You were worried about me?”

Connor looks up at him, his expression softer now. “Obviously…”

The other boy feels tears prickle at his eyes but he just buries his face deeper into the afghan. He croaks, “E-even after seeing who… _what_ I really am? You’re not disgusted by me?”

“Not at all, Evan. And what you are… is my friend. That’s not going to change just because you don’t look like everyone else.”

At this point, Evan can’t prevent the tears from flowing; his shoulders shudder as he continues to cry. “Thank you, Connor,” he hiccups. “And I’m sorry… I’m so sorry that I ran yesterday. I just… I was just so _scared_.” _Scared that I had lost you._ He squeezes his eyes shut, tears starting to soak into the fabric. Suddenly, he feels a hand on his shoulders. He opens his eyes to see Connor knelt in front of him, staring at him kindly.

“Listen, you don’t need to hide from me… You’re the same person with or without that piece of cloth.” 

Evan feels his stomach flutter at the soothing tone of his voice. He gulps back a sob. “Okay… Okay. Just give me a minute.” With trembling hands, he slowly starts to undo the fabric and with a final tug his face, is exposed again. He nervously wrings the fabric in his hands, averting Connor’s eyes still expecting a response of horror… But it never comes. He glances back at Connor who is just… looking at him. Not really in a judgmental or sympathetic way but more… curious.

He surveys the rough patches that cover most of Evan’s lower face. He reaches out toward him but Evan flinches away. “Sorry, I should’ve asked… Can I?” Connor tries cautiously. Evan hesitates but eventually nods. Connor grazes his fingers over the skin on his left cheek, the texture reminding him of the bark of the oak tree. He pulls his hand away and continues to observe Evan. Not his condition just… Evan. The roundness of his cheeks, the occasional crinkle of his nose, the staggered breath from his slightly parted lips. He tilts his head and smiles reassuringly at Evan. “See… nothing’s changed. You’re still Evan ‘uh’ Hansen.”

Evan giggles a little, finally revealing that soft smile and… it’s nice. Nicer than Connor imagined it would be like.

The crying boy wipes his nose with the afghan and sniffs, “Connor … I’m happy I have someone like you in my life.”

“Me too…” He admits, a light blush dusting his cheeks.

“If… If it’s not too much to ask, Connor… Can you stay for a while? …I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

Connor nods his head and lightly pats his knee. “Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof the slow burn is getting real


	8. A World We Can Call Our Own

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With everything out in the open, Connor and Evan keep each other company

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies, I'm back with your daily dose of fluff and angst! :D

Connor makes a little whistle noise. “You were not kidding about all the tree books.” He runs a finger along the spines of the books stacked on Evan's desk.

“Yeah, I know it’s pretty lame but, I gotta keep myself busy somehow,” he explains self-consciously.

The taller boy shakes his head at that notion. “I already told you, nothing you like is lame.” Connor picks the leather-bound book on top of the stack and starts to flip through it curiously.

Evan starts getting flustered. “Oh, that’s just a stupid— It’s not really a book, it’s a journal I like to take out when I go to the forest.”

Connor’s eyes widen as he looks down at the page covered in graphite illustrations. “You did all of this?”

“Y-yeah, I know it’s not very good—“

“Ev, are you kidding me? It’s amazing,” he praises.

“Really…?” He asks skeptically.

“Yes, really,” he reiterates. “Do you mind if I keep looking through?”

Evan shakes his head allowing Connor to plop down on the bed with a squeak. Now that he doesn’t have his gloves on, Evan can freely chew on his nails as he watches him flip through the pages.

Connor looks at the gray-scale sketches of leaves, branches and trees; each with a few marginal notes. A small smile spreads on his lips as he looks at all the details engraved on the parchment. “This is pretty thorough. You could probably publish it if you wanted to.”

“I don’t know about that but… I appreciate the compliment.” Evan lowers his fingers from his now grinning mouth.

Connor lightly closes the journal. “Well, aside from tree books? What else do you like to read?”

“O-oh, I don’t know… Fantasy books, I guess. Anything with a good adventure. That is, whenever my mom can get them for me. They’re a little harder to get a hold of at the public library.”

Connor leans back on his arms. “You know if you want to get some new reading material. You can stop by my place whenever you want. My mom buys all these books so that she can show off to her stuck-up friends but she hardly touches them so we have our own personal library.”

“I… I’d like that.” Evan finally decides to sit down next to Connor. “Um, what do you like to read?”

“Hmm, ever heard of Jane Austen?”

“I’ve heard the name before but I’ve never read anything from her.”

“Well, I could read anything written by her. I’m actually reading _Sense and Sensibility_ … again” He rummages in the inner pocket of his trench coat and plucks out a small book. “When our parents would go to one of their cocktail parties, Zoe and I would sneak past the nanny and I’d read her this until they came back.”

“Sounds nice… Could you maybe— n-never mind,” he retracts.”

“What is it, Evan?”

“Nothing, nothing, it’s dumb! Forget I said anything,” he rambles.

Connor gently nudges his shoulder. “Hey… If you’ve learned anything these couple of days is that you can tell me anything. So, what were you going to say?”

“Can you… read some of it with me?” the blushing boy requests. “Sorry, I know it’s weird—“

“I’ll read it with you,” he accepts, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. “I don’t mind and… I want to.”

Evan smiles with a crinkle in his noise. “Okay.”

The boys make themselves more comfortable by kicking off their shoes and pressing their backs against the wall. Evan watches as Connor’s slender fingers flick through the worn pages. He cleared his throat before reciting, “The family of Dashwood had long been settled in Sussex. Their estate was large, and their residence was at Norland Park, in the centre of their property, where, for many generations, they had lived in so respectable a manner as to engage the general good opinion of their surrounding acquaintance…” The beautiful, eloquent words rolling off of Connor’s tongue, soft as silk. The inflections of his youthful voice adding character to the already elegant text.

A sensation of warmth and comfort fills Evan as Connor continues to read, lulling him into a trance where the only thing that mattered was them…

 

As the afternoon creeps into night, the boys realize that minutes had stretched into hours like wool on a spindle. Connor reluctantly closes the book and with that, sealing the world of finely dressed and well-spoken characters. He looks toward Evan whose face could only be described as full of content as he stares back at him. “So, did you like it?” Connor asks, now feeling a level of self-consciousness himself.

“Of course! It was really nice…” _Just like everything about you_ , his mind fills in. “Thank you, for reading it to me.”

“It’s no problem. You know I’ll take any time that I have with you,” he confesses meekly.

Evan’s stomach flutters unusually at that. “Still, I want you to know that I appreciate it…” He turns to look at the clock and sighs when he sees what time it is. “My mom… she’ll be here soon. I don’t want you to leave but…”

Connor nods. “No, I get it. She’ll freak out…” He lifts himself from the bed and puts the book back in his coat. “We can finish this up later… Maybe at the orchard, if you’re up for it?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Evan beams. He walks with Connor on his way out to the porch. “I’ll see you tomorrow then. At the circus. I still have to follow through with my promise with Jared.”

“Right, I forgot about that… I’ll see you then.” He gives him a small wave goodbye.

Before he turns to leave, Evan adds, “Connor— Today and yesterday they’ve been some of the best and scariest days of my life but… I wouldn’t change them for anything. You’re… you’re the best friend I could’ve asked for.”

Connor gulps, his mouth suddenly feeling cotton-dry and his cheeks burn hot. “I… I feel the same, Evan. Don’t you ever doubt that… Goodnight.”

With that Connor leaves into the chilly night, leaving Evan dazed and reeling from all the events that transpired in the last thirty-six hours...

***

Connor isn’t sure if the warmness he feels inside is because of the grey smoke filling his lungs or if it was because of his time with Evan. As he walked the dirt road back to town, his mind wandered back to Evan’s blue eyes staring back attentively as he read to him. It was something so simple yet so… intimate. He had never experienced something like that with anyone. Still, all that he knew was that he was happy… Connor’s lips curl into a smile as he takes another drag from his cigarette.

The dirt road converged into the cobbled street that leads to his neighborhood. Before he enters through the red door of his house, he drops his cigarette and snubs it out with his foot. He is in too good of a mood to hear Cynthia complain about his habit. Unfortunately, as soon as he enters, he can hear the muffled arguing of his parents upstairs. “Fucking hell,” he huffs as he hangs his coat up.

He heads toward the living room where he sees the soft glow of the fireplace illuminating it. In the corner, he sees Zoe sitting in the loveseat with her guitar. “Hey,” he greets.

She looks up from her strumming. “Hey… Where have you been all day?”

“I went to visit Evan… Had some things to sort out with him but everything’s okay now,” he explains making himself comfortable on the couch. He throws his head back and lays his hands on his stomach. “How long have they’ve been at it?”

His sister places the guitar down and shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t know. Probably an hour but I’ve lost track.”

Connor sighs in frustration and stares intensely at the high-rise ceiling. “Dare I ask what it’s about?”

“I don’t know. The circus, the house… us? Take your pick,” she deadpans.

He rubs his left temple. “Well, I don’t want to hear their bullshit tonight. I’m gonna go tell them to shut it,” he concludes, hoisting himself up.

“You sure that’s a good idea?” Zoe asks tentatively.

“Would you prefer to hear them for another hour?” Zoe stays quiet. “That’s what I thought.”

He heads up the flight of stairs to the second floor. As Connor reaches his hand out to open the double doors of the master bedroom, his mother’s distraught voice stops him in his tracks. “I’m done, Larry! I am so tired of pushing and pushing you every step of the way to sell the circus!

“The circus is our livelihood, Cynthia! We can’t just give up on it! We would be nothing without it,” he argues.

“We’re already nothing!” Cynthia screams. “We’re about to lose the house! Don’t you understand that?”

“I do—“

“No, you don’t! You don’t because you’d rather risk us being out on the streets than admit the circus failed!” Connor hears his mother sobbing inconsolably.

“Cynthia…”

Connor’s eyes widen in surprise. He’d never heard Cynthia sound so disillusioned.

“You know what,” she sniffles. “You have to make a decision right now. You can keep trying to save the circus by getting more loans or whatever else you’ve been promising… but I won’t be here anymore. I’ll go stay with my parents and take Zoe and Connor if they want to come. Or… you can sell the circus and we’ll figure out how to move forward together.”

“Honey, please… you can’t make me choose between the most important things in my life,” he pleas tiredly.

“Yes, I can Larry… because your family should be the only important thing in your life.”

The bed creaks as, presumably, Larry sits down. He lets out a heavy sigh. “…Okay… You’re right… I’ll tell everyone tomorrow… that it’s our last show.”

Connor’s heart sinks. With heavy legs, he heads downstairs and sits down on the last step. _So that’s it… I had fought with him for so long to give up on the circus… Now it’s really over… Now that I finally found someone who saw it’s magic…_


	9. Promise to Never Let Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan and Jared go to the circus together

“So, he saw your face and _didn’t_ run for the hills?” Jared questions with a mixture of amusement and disbelief.

Evan rolls his eyes at his insensitivity. “Yes, Jared. Is it really that hard to believe?”

“Actually, yes. Considerably, since y’know the last person that saw you nearly kicked your ass.” The boys maneuver their way through the main road to the circus.

“That was different,” Evan disagrees. “Connor…he’s different…” _He sees me for me…_

Jared side-eyes Evan, not failing to notice the affectionate way he said that. “Alright, I’ll believe you. All I’m saying is I wouldn’t be surprised if he was partially blind,” he teases.

Evan huffs in frustration and decides to just drop it. He was going have to deal with Jared for the next couple hours so there is no point in getting worked up by his comments.

As they walk farther along, the big top starts coming into view. “Hmm, not too shabby. I was expecting it to look more run down considering,” Jared remarks flippantly.

They approach the ticket booth and see two children already talking to the ticket master. Evan has never seen them around before so the sight is strange already. The older boy is trying to haggle with the scruffy man while the younger boy is standing on his tippy toes trying to see what’s happening. “Come on, mister! Don’t you guys have like a discount for kids or something?”

“I already told ya. Admission is set at the same price,” he grumbles dismissively. “Ya’ve only got enough for one ticket, so ya best decide which one of ya’ll gets to go.”

The older boy tuts at him and pulls the smaller boy off to the side. “Hey, looks like you’re gonna have to go inside without me, okay buddy?”

The little boy shakes his head frantically. “I don’t wanna go by myself, Abel,” he whines.

“I know, Liam, but this jerk isn’t going to let that happen,” he explains.

“I can still hear you,” grunts the ticket master

Abel ignores the comment. “It’ll be fun, I promise. I’ll wait outside until the show is over.” Liam shakes his head again and Abel sighs, “Okay… That’s fine. We’ll just come back another time then.” He takes him by the hand and starts leading him away.

As they pass Evan and Jared, Evan calls out, “Wait.” The boy turns around with confused expressions. Evan clears his throat. “Um, here, you can have this.” He holds out a few coins to them.

“Really?” asks Abel skeptically.

Evan nods his head and Liam’s face lights up. He looks up to get his brother’s approval and he nods as well. The boy goes over and takes the money from Evan. “Thanks, mister!”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Evan responds.

The boys go back to the ticket booth and place their money on the counter. “Two tickets, please,” Liam requests happily.

“Congrats,” he mumbles handing them their tickets.

Liam tugs Abel’s sleeve as they enter the tent through the vestibule.

“Listen, Treeboy. That was good charity work but I’m not paying for your ticket if you’re out of money.”

“Don’t worry about it, Jared. Now, hurry up. The shows going to start soon.”

***

As Connor wraps up his hands, he looks around at the other performers obliviously getting ready, not knowing yet that it’s going to be their last performance. Even Zoe is ignorant to this fact, considering their parents went through dinner pretending as nothing had changed. And Connor’s had to swallow the knowledge down like bile and honestly… he didn’t know how much longer that would last.

Larry claps his hand to get everyone’s attention. “Everyone, if I could say something else before we get out there.” Everyone’s chit-chat quiets down and they give him the room. Connor crosses his arms, a frown on his face as he waits to hear what his father has to say. “I just would like to say that… I know we’ve had a rough run these last couple of years but… I’m grateful for all of you. I’m grateful for the loyalty that you have given me and my family…” He takes a deep breathe before continuing. “So, thank you…” He grabs his hat from off the rack and puts it on. “Now, then. Let’s get this show on the road. Shall we?”

“Alright, places everyone,” Katarina directs as everyone starts getting in position.

Zoe turns to a notably irritated Connor. “What do you think that speech was all about?”

Connor jaw clenches a bit. “I don’t know,” he lies. “But then again when has Dad given a real explanation for anything he does.”

His sister looks at him suspiciously. “You know something… don’t you.”

He doesn’t meet her eyes and starts to walk towards the curtains. “Didn’t you hear? We have a show to put on.”

***

Evan looks around and is saddened at the empty seats surrounding him and Jared. The only other people there are the kids they met outside. Not even the church group or twins had shown up that week. He can’t even imagine how frustrating it must be for Connor and the rest of the Murphys to see this place deserted.

Jared whistles, readjusting his coat a bit. “Wow, this place really is like a ghost town. Although, I’ve got to hand it to you, Evan. You found the perfect HQ for freaks,” he quips.

“Thanks?”

They get themselves seated, this time boldly choosing the front seats. It’s not long before the lights start to dim and the music begins to vibrate through the air. From where they’re sitting, Evan can see the boys from outside jumping excitedly in their seats and he grins at the sight. Even Jared is devoting his attention to the flurry of activity that is occurring and for once… he’s stunned silent.

-

As Zoe and Connor wait for their cue, Zoe can tell that Connor is still visibly agitated. “Hey… are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Let’s just get this over with,” he answers snippily.

She furrows her eyebrow at his tone. It had been a while since he had taken that attitude with her. Since he met Evan, Zoe realized Connor’s eagerness to perform was growing again. It reminded her of how things used to be... Now, she can’t shake the unsettling feeling that something horribly wrong was about to happen.

They hear Larry’s voice and they start to make their ascent to their respective platform. As Connor grips the trapeze bar, he notices a slight tremble in his hand. _Shit, not now. No… It’s fine. Just keep it together. Just get through this shitty night.  Just stop thinking that it’s the last show. Just. Stop. Thinking—_

Connor looks up to see that Zoe is almost done with her solo and quickly scrambles onto the bar. Despite the delay, he manages to catch her in time without anyone noticing.

Jared leans over to Evan and whispers, “So that’s your ‘secret friend’?”

“O-oh, yeah,” he answers, still not shifting his focus away from the performance. “That’s him… He really is amazing, isn’t he?” Evan mutters almost indistinctively  

Jared looks over at him, seeing the fondness in Evan’s gaze. _Well, I’ll be damned..._

Up in the air, Connor manages to catch a glimpse of Evan looking up in wonder like always. And for that split second, he has a moment of comfort knowing he’s there… Until his mind fills with a dreadful thought. One that terrifies him more than the circus closing down…

In that brief lapse of inattentiveness, Connor times his flip poorly and his fingers slip from the bar. Everyone gasps in horror as Connor plummets down.

Evan shoots up from his seat, desperately trying to see where he landed. “Connor!” he screams. The lights turn on again, revealing Connor nestled on top of the safety net. Evan let’s out a sigh of relief and the children cheer and clap happily, probably thinking it was part of the act.

Zoe scrambles down the ladder to reach him. Connor rolls to the edge of the net and she reaches her hand out to help him up. As she pulls him down, he hisses as a sharp pain shoots up his shoulder. “Shit,” he grits.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“I think I sprained my shoulder,” he hisses.

The siblings go backstage while Larry comes back out to do damage control. “Thank you all for coming! I hope you enjoyed the show and have a great evening!” With that Larry quickly heads back as well.

Liam and Abel give a round of applause while Jared also gives a few dumbstruck claps. “Well, that was more intense than I anticipated,” Jared comments. “I assume that none of that was planned.”

Evan shakes his head slowly. “Jared… Can you— Do you think, maybe—“

“Yeah, yeah. Go check on Circus Kid. I know my way back from here,” he instructs dismissively, even though he genuinely knows Evan is upset. He starts walking towards the exit. “Thanks, for the good time, Treeboy!”

-

In the dressing room, Katarina is using a scarf as a sling to relieve some of the strain on Connor’s shoulder. Larry pushes past the curtains with a frown on his face. “What the hell happened out there?”

“Dad, can we not do this right now?” Zoe pleas.

Connor glares at his father, his slow-burning anger starting to simmer. “Glad to see you’re concerned about me, Dad.”

“I am but you should be more careful out there,” Larry scolds.

“Oh, please! You don’t care that I got hurt! You’re just pissed that I fucked up our last show! I’m _so_ sorry that I inconvenienced you!”

 Katarina and Zoe’s eyes widen and Larry is equally as dumbfounded. “You knew…”

“Yes, I knew,” Connor jeers. “And of course, I have to be the one that breaks the news since you can’t own up to anything!”

“Don’t you dare talk to me like that,” Larry spits. “I was going to let everyone know _after_ the show!”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that! You wanted to make sure everyone had a big happy smile plastered on for their last curtain call! Telling them they’re out of a job would’ve ruined that for sure!”

“Well isn’t this what you always wanted, Connor? You were the one who insisted on closing the circus down,” he reproaches. “I thought you’d be jumping for joy when you found out!”

“Yes, I did tell you to close this place but it’s not what I fucking wanted!” _I thought I did but… things change._ He gets up from his chair and starts heading towards the exit.

Larry shakes his head. “Fine! It’s clear I’m always going to be the bad guy in your eyes so there’s no point in arguing with you!” Connor departs, leaving his father with a distressed Zoe and Katarina. He turns to them, a look of defeat on his face. “I’m sorry, girls… I’m sorry I failed you….” He looks to the adjacent room separated by a thin curtain. “I’m sure everyone has heard by now… Still, I need to tell them the news in person.” He makes his way over and Katarina follows suit.

Zoe is about to go as well before she hears someone whisper, “Psst! Zoe?” She turns around to see Evan partially hiding behind a curtain. “S-sorry, I know I’m not supposed to be back here but… Connor? Where is he?”

“Evan? It’s… it’s fine. You just missed him. He was pretty upset when he left so I’m guessing you can find him at the stable.”

“Alright… What about you? Are you okay?”

“Not particularly…” she admits with a dull smile. “But I think Connor needs you more than me right now.” She waves goodbye before joining everyone else.

-

As soon as Evan steps into the stable, he can see Connor gently petting Willow’s nuzzle. He walks over to him but Connor quickly turns his head away from him. “Hey… Won’t your mom be pissed that you’re out late?”

Evan is surprised by his coldness but it doesn’t deter him. “I wasn’t going to leave until I knew you were okay.”

“Well, I’m in one piece. Messed up my shoulder a bit but I’ll live. So you don’t have to worry,” he explains still not meeting his eyes.

Evan saunters closer to him, pulling his scarf down and gently putting his gloveless hand over Connor’s. “Connor… look at me?” 

Connor hesitates a bit but eventually, he looks up with glazed eyes and a slightly red nose. “Just… just give me a minute,” he sniffs.

Evan squeezes his hand. “Take your time… I’m not going anywhere.”

A stray tear rolls down Connor’s cheek and he quickly wipes it away with the back of his hand. He slumps down against the corral door and Evan joins him on the dirt floor. He takes a deep breath and exhales, “It’s over… We’re shutting down the circus…”

Evan’s heart drops at the news and instinctively grabs Connor’s good hand again. “I’m sorry, Connor.”

“I’m sorry too… You know the irony of all this? I was finally starting to remember how much I loved doing this. I had finally found the inspiration to keep going but now… I have to give it up again. Without the circus, I don’t know what’ll happen to my family or me for that matter. I don’t know who _I’ll_ be and... I’m afraid.” He looks over at Evan solemnly. _I’m afraid that I’ll have to leave after finally finding a reason to stay_.

Evan gulps back the tears, pondering what he should say next. “Maybe… maybe you don’t know who you will be but… I know one thing you’ll always be… and that’s my best friend.” A sob escapes Connor’s throat at hearing Evan’s kind words and he buries his face in his knees. However, this just causes the other boy to panic. “Oh, shit! Connor, I’m sorry! That was so conceited of me to say! I mean obviously being friends with me doesn’t nearly compare to being an amazing trapeze artist—“

He’s cut off by Connor interlacing their fingers together and laying his head on Evan’s shoulder. “Evan… shut up. You’re kinda ruining the best compliment anyone’s given me,” he jokes through sniffles.

“O-oh, I’m sor—“ Evan cuts himself short remembering what he’s told him about apologizing. “You’re… you’re welcome.”

“Wow. We’re making progress. I’ve got to say I’m proud.” Both boys giggle at that. Connor mindlessly makes small circles on Evan’s hand with his thumb. “You know… I don’t know what the future holds but I’ll take being Evan Hansen’s best friend anytime…”

Evan smiles blissfully as he watches Connor making patterns on his skin. Both of them basking in each other’s company… Not caring about the rest of the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn! I know I'm killing you guys with all the angst but I swear that things will get more uplifting and fun in a few more chapters! I've got some awesome new ideas and characters lined up so I hope you guys enjoy :D


	10. Someone Will Come Running

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heidi and Evan go out for the day

Evan lays on his bed, silently smudging graphite on paper to accentuate the last few details of his work. He puts his pencil down and observes his sketch of Connor smoking a cigarette. It was a little rough but he was quite proud of it. He managed to get his high cheekbones and the soft wave of his hair just right. Evan sighs forlornly, disappointed that he hasn’t been able to see him the entire week. He feels selfish because he knows Connor is busy with his own problems but… he misses him. _It’s normal for me to miss my best friend, right?_ Although… he’s not sure if secretly drawing them is something best friends usually do.

There’s a soft knock on his door and he quickly stashes his sketchbook away under his pillow. “Come in,” he permits.

Heidi opens the door and steps inside. “Hey, honey. What are you up to?”

“Uh, nothing much. Just sitting. Here,” he answers awkwardly.

“I can see that.” She takes a seat on his desk chair. “You’ve been doing that a lot this week. You haven’t even gone over to Jared’s. Is everything good between you two?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine. He, uh, he’s just been busy with family stuff so… here I am.”

“Is that all? ‘Cause you seem kind of down.”

Evan notices his mother’s concerned expression and decides to tell the partial truth. “Well… I heard from Jared that the circus is closing down. So, I’m just bummed that I won’t get to go again.”

“I’m sorry, sweetie…” A sense of guilt fills her chest. “I know you wanted to go.”

Now, Evan is the one feeling guilty. “Mom, it’s fine. You don’t have to feel bad for me or anything. It was just my wishful thinking.”

“Still, you should have the chance to get out there… How about we do this? I have the day off and so maybe we can go to the marketplace, huh? I’ll even let you do your own shopping,” she offers cheerfully.

“Really?” Evan asks in disbelief.

“Yeah, it’ll be fun! What do you say?”

Her son beams at her happily. “Yeah, sounds like a plan.”

-

As they approach downtown, Heidi is slightly panicking. “Okay, if at any time things get too overwhelming we can go back home. I’ll be at the tailor getting my uniform stitched so if you need to come find me—”

“Mom, please relax. I’ll be fine,” he assures

“No, I know, honey. I just want to make sure you’re safe and comfortable.”

“I will be. Promise.”

“Alright…” She fixes his scarf and gives him a hug. “Small steps, right?”

“Uh, yep.” _Sure…_

She lets go and starts heading her own way, still looking back until Evan’s out of site. He takes a staggered breath as he watches people amble through the crowded streets. Without overthinking it, Evan steps off the sidewalk and walks toward the shops.

-

After perusing a few stores, Evan decides on buying a new journal since he’s about to fill up his other one. As he’s about to go up to the clerk, a few items catch his attention. On top of a small table lined with green satin lay an assortment of leather bookmarks. As he scans through them, he wonders if Connor would like one since he usually just folds the corner of the pages. Ultimately, Evan picks one with an oak tree design burned on it as a reminder of the day at the orchard.

He wraps up his shopping there and tucks his purchases away in his tote bag. As he reenters the hectic plaza, he sees a couple of familiar faces. On the opposite side of the street, he sees the two boys from the circus speed-walking out of a store. The youngest is looking up, confused, as his older brother nervously looks back. Suddenly, a heavier man barges out the store like a fuming bull and shouts, “Get back ‘ere, ya dirty thieves!”

“Run!” orders Abel, pulling his brother along as they book it across the street. Evan sees them turn into a nearby alleyway; the man not far behind. He looks around and nobody is doing anything. Everyone either too busy or pretending to be to give them assistance. The dark part of Evan’s mind is telling him that it’s not his business but… it wasn’t Connor’s either when he helped him.

Evan sprints in the direction of where the boys went. As he goes into the alleyway, he sees that the man is frisking Abel’s coat while Liam begs, “Leave him alone! He didn’t do anything!”

“‘E didn’t now did ‘e. Then what’s dis?” He pulls out half a loaf of bread and a triangular slice of cheese. “Ya’re a dirty liar is what ya are,” he accuses. He hoists Abel up to eye level. “I should ‘ave the two of ya arrested!”

Evan rushes towards them. “H-hey! Let him go! He’s just a kid!” He puts his hand on the man’s arm to make him put Abel down. However, that just earns Evan a swift elbow to the face sending a surge of pain throughout.

“Stay out of dis boy,” he barks. In his distraction, Abel wriggles out of his grip and the brothers are able to run away.

“‘Ey!” He’s about to go after them but instead, he just huffs, “Tch! Lil’ shits ain’t worth it.” The burly man turns his attention to Evan who is keeled over on the ground. “Hope that taught ya a lesson.”

Evan hears the man walk away and he’s left alone. He feels a warm sensation dripping down his nose. When he pulls down his scarf, he notices that there’s a red stain where blood is soaking into the fabric “Shit…” He lifts himself off the ground and as he turns around, he sees the boys standing behind him with wide-eyes.

“We… we came back to see if you were okay…” Abel explains.

Evan realizes that it isn’t his bloody nose that they’re staring at. His throat starts feeling like it’s closing in. _They’re going to tell everyone. They’re going to let everyone know they saw a monster…_

Instead of running away though, Liam starts getting closer to him and holds out a checkered handkerchief to him. Evan hesitates but graciously takes it and blots his nose with it. “Thank you…”

“Did he do that to you?” Liam asks innocently, pointing at the odd patch of skin.

“Liam,” Abel scolds.

“N-no! I… I was born with it.”

The little boy tilts his head at him interestedly. “Are you Frankenstein?”

“Liam! Quit being rude!”

Evan laughs nervously. “It’s okay. But I’m not Frankenstein.” The wheels in his head start spinning and he devises a story. “Actually… I’m a dryad. Have you ever heard of those?” Liam shakes his head and Abel quirks an eyebrow at him. “Well… they’re spirits in charge of protecting forests. That’s why my skin looks like this so that I, uh, can blend in with the trees. Gotta keep the trolls away.”

“Wow! You get to fight trolls?”

Abel jumps in this time and gives Evan a knowing wink. “Yeah! I mean didn’t you see that guy back there. He was definitely one in disguise.”

Liam’s mouth gapes open. “Really?”

Evan nods. “Yep, I could smell him a mile away.” Liam and Abel giggle breathlessly at his jab. Evan kneels down so that he’s meeting their eyes. “Now… I’m gonna have to ask you guys a favor, okay? I’m not supposed to tell people who I actually am. So… it’s important that you keep this a secret. Can you guys promise not to tell?”

They nod their heads in agreement. “We promise.”

Evan lets out a breath of relief. “Thank you.”

“And thank you… For helping us out,” Abel adds.

Liam sticks his hand out. “It was good seeing you again, Mr. Dree— Um, dry…” he tries.

Evan takes his small hand and shakes it. “Just call me, Evan. And it was nice seeing you too.”

Abel puts his hand on Liam’s shoulder. “Come on, let’s go home.” He takes off his tweed hat and hands him a roll. “Lug-head forgot to check everything.”

The boys wave good-bye leaving Evan alone again. _They saw me and… they weren’t scared of me_? He looks down to see his reflection on a small puddle. _Maybe there are people out there willing to accept people who are different..._

He wipes away the remaining blood before pulling up his scarf again and heading towards the tailor to meet his mom.


	11. They Can Say it All Sounds Crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor has bad news but Evan offers a possible solution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooh we got 1k hits y'all! Thank you my lovelies <3

Ideas are like poison oak. Once you touch it, you can leave it alone until it eventually goes away or you can keep scratching away until it spreads more and more. Making it even more unbearable to ignore… Well, Evan is having significant trouble ignoring the itching in his mind. Ever since his encounter with Abel and Liam the preceding afternoon, he has been taunted by a growing idea. An idea he wanted to unload to anyone…

Fortunately for him, relief literally starts knocking at his front door. Evan checks the window beforehand and sees Connor’s lanky figure. He rushes to the door and opens it with a wide smile on his face. “Hey!”

Connor smiles back but suddenly it falters a bit. “Woah… What happened to you?”

Evan reaches up to cover his nose which had by now turned a purplish hue. “Oh, this! It’s, uh, nothing. I was reaching for a book and it fell on my face. I know that’s super embarrassing.” He steps aside. “Sorry, come in.”

Connor does as he’s told. “No offense, Ev, but that book excuse might’ve worked on your mom. Unfortunately for you, I’m not buying it. So, you wanna try again.”

Evan gulps and joins Connor on the couch. “Fine. Something else did happen. I just didn’t wanna worry you with everything you’ve been going through…”

“Although I appreciate you trying to spare me, I don’t want you to ever think my problems matter more than you. Okay?”

“…Okay. Well, yesterday my mom and I went shopping downtown and she even decided to leave me on my own. Everything was nice, I mean until I got myself into trouble that is…”

Evan retells the event of the previous afternoon and Connor listens with a frown. “That guy is an asshole.”

“Definitely," he laughs. "But the kids, they were okay so it was worth it.”

Connor expression softens a bit. “You’re a brave kid, Evan. Maybe a little reckless… but brave.”

“Seems like you’re rubbing off on me,” Evan retorts.

“Oof, sorry.”

“It— It’s not a bad thing though,” he adds, tugging at his sleeve nervously. “I don’t mind being like you a little bit…”

Connor’s stomach flutters at his comment. “Hmm, if you say so.” He scruffs Evan’s hair a bit causing him to giggle.

“Oh! I forgot something! Just, wait here. I’ll be right back.” Evan leaves the room for a bit before returning with a small brown packet tied with twine. He hands it to Connor bashfully as he sits back down. “Here. It’s nothing really just, um, something I’d thought maybe you’d like.”

He blinks at him in confusion. “Evan, you didn’t have to…”

“No, I know but… I wanted to.”

Connor looks down at the package, crinkling the paper a bit. He pulls the twine loose, wrapping it around his wrist and tying it off; something Evan finds incredibly endearing. A bright smile stretches across Connor’s face as he opens the packet, revealing the leather bookmark. “It’s perfect… Thank you. And the oak tree is a nice touch.”

“I’m glad you liked it.”

Connor runs his finger along the embossed image before looking up at Evan with a somber expression. “I… I need to tell you something. It’s why I decided to come by… I needed to tell you in person.”

 “What? What’s wrong?”

He exhales heavily. “I’m leaving soon…” he reveals. “Selling the circus isn’t going to be enough to pay off all our debt… So, I got a job working at the railroad to help out.”

Evan’s face falls. “Oh… That’s… uh, when do you plan on going?”

“In a few weeks… People willing to work winters get paid better.” He observes Evan rubbing his hands nervously on his thighs. “Evan… Are you okay?”

“Yep, definitely,” he rasps. “I mean, I’m not okay with you leaving. That’s not what I meant but I understand why you have to… Just, uh, promise to stay safe and write when you can,” he requests bleakly.

“Of course,” he promises, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly. “I’m sorry, Evan… I wish things hadn’t turned out like this.”

“Connor, you don’t have to apologize to me. There’s nothing more you could’ve done,” Evan comforts despite being deeply saddened by this news.

Connor reclines his head back on the couch and lays his hands on his stomach. “I don’t know about that… I mean sometimes I think I could’ve but I was just so… _angry._ Angry enough that I stopped caring what happened to the circus… Now it’s too late…” He slumps his head over to look at Evan. _I wish I had met you sooner Evan Hansen. Then maybe I would’ve had a reason to keep fighting for it._

Evan stares back at him empathetically. The sunlight streaming from the window reflecting into his icy-blue eyes. As he continues to observe them, Evan notices a small patch of brown in one of them. A small discovery that strengthens the connection he has with Connor. Even if it’s on a smaller level… he’s unique like him.

_Scratch. Scratch. Scratch._

Connor notices his expression shift as if he was deep in thought. “Evan…?”

Evan snaps out of it. “Huh, sorry, I spaced out… Connor, what if it’s not too late?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been thinking about something lately and maybe… maybe there is a way to save the circus. A way to get people interested again…”

The taller boy blinks at him in confusion. “Evan, I appreciate you trying to help but I don’t see how that’d be possible.”

Evan looks down at his lap a little dejected. “Sorry, you’re probably right. It was a dumb idea of mine and I shouldn’t be so naïve to think I could magically fix everything.”

Connor starts feeling guilty for discouraging him. He sighs and pats Evan’s hand. “Okay, lemme hear your idea. You don’t have to feel bad for trying to help.”

“You sure…?” He gives him a reassuring nod. “Okay… So, something else happened yesterday. The boys I helped… they saw me without my scarf and… they weren’t scared of me. I mean, obviously, they were surprised and curious but… they didn’t look at me like a freak. Which got me thinking, what if there are more people willing to accept people like me? What if we can make the circus a place where people who are different can be seen?”

Connor scratches his jaw, pondering what Evan is proposing. “Listen, Evan. It’s not a bad idea but… it’s risky. There will always be assholes out there who won’t accept ‘different.’”

“But you did,” he reminds. “So, did the kids.”

“I know. I’m not saying that no one will but what if there are more people who _won’t_? People who are willing to actually hurt you for how you look,” Connor cautions, remembering the rage in that merchant’s face. “I… I can’t ask you, or anyone else for that matter, to expose themselves like that. Not even for the circus’ sake, Evan.”

Evan furrows his eyebrows a bit. “I know there’s a risk but… it’s a risk I’d want to take. Not just to save the circus and keep you from leaving… but to prove that people like me deserve to step out of the shadows. Wouldn’t it be worth trying?”

“You… You’d seriously want to do this. If we somehow got to make this a reality, you’d be prepared to put yourself on stage?”

Evan swallows thickly, his thoughts flooding with visions of people staring and pointing at him. He lets out a staggered breath. “Yes… I’d be terrified, I’m not gonna lie, but yes… I’d do it. If you’d want to take the risk with me.”

Connor stares back at him in disbelief. He can’t fathom how a boy who has hidden his whole life would be willing to do this for the sake of others but… his selflessness makes his heart swell. “Okay...”

Evan’s eyes widen. “W-what?”

“I don’t know if this will work. Or if I can even convince my dad to consider it but if there’s anyone I’d place bets with…. it’s you.”

The boy beams happily and lunges forward to wrap him in a hug. “Thank you, Connor! Thank you for giving this a chance and… for not giving up.”

After the initial shock, Connor hugs him back. “Well… thank you for giving me a reason not to, Evan.”


	12. A Little Reinvention, a Little Uphill Climb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Evan enlist the help of their loved ones to help them with their plans.

“Absolutely not,” Jared deadpans. “No way in hell am I joining the circus.” He and Evan are sat at the Kleinman’s kitchen table while Connor is standing near the window with his arms crossed.

“Jared, come on. You haven’t even really considered it,” Evan reprimands.

“I’ve considered that it’s a bad idea,” the hunched boy stresses. “You of all people know how fucked up people can be. Or have you forgotten the look of disgusts you’ve gotten from even nurses or perhaps the backhanded comments.” He turns his attention to Connor with a scowl. “Are you the one encouraging him to be your show pig?” Connor’s jaw clenches at his accusatory tone. “I figured you wanted to get something out of him. Why else would you want to be his friend?”

“Jared!” Evan scolds.

Connor steps forward, eyes blazing with a low-burning rage. “That’s rich coming from the guy who blackmailed him to spend time with you,” he spits.

Before Jared can argue more, Evan interjects, “Both of you! Knock it off!” He lets them calm down before continuing. “Listen, Jared, this was my idea and even Connor has his reservations about it too. And no I haven’t forgotten how cruel people can be… Still, this a good opportunity to save the circus which has become like my second home. I came to ask for your help because you understand what it’s like to be locked away your whole life… This our chance to be seen… Wouldn’t you want to at least give it a try?”

Jared stays silent, his expression unreadable. “Fine. We’ll give this suicide mission a shot. But when this all goes to shit, I am allowed to say I told you so.”

Evan grins happily. “Thank you, Jared.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m just as stupid as you,” he huffs. “So, what’s the next step?”

Connor tilts his head back against the wall. “Probably, the hardest part… Convincing my dad this is a good idea.”

“That’s where we come in,” Evan explains.

-

They walk up to the Murphy household and Jared and Evan are shocked to see how grandiose it is. “Woah,” they say in tandem.

“Uh, I’ll take that as a compliment, I guess.” Connor unlocks the doors and leads them inside.

“Woah…” the boys repeat. Their eyes scan the marbled foyer, the golden chandelier and the spiral staircase leading to the second floor.

They hear footsteps echoing closer. “Connor, is that you?” A woman with strawberry blonde hair steps from the adjacent room. “Oh, I didn’t know you were bringing guests over.”

“Yeah, sorry, Mom. It was kind of a last minute decision.”

“It’s no problem, sweetie.” She shakes Evan and Jared’s hands. “Hello, I’m Cynthia.”

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Evan and this  is Jared,” he introduces.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you two. Connor has never really brought friends home so this is a nice surprise.”

“Mom, please don’t make this a big deal,” Connor groans.

Evan stifles a giggle behinds his scarf. He thinks it’s adorable that he’s getting a little flustered.

“Alright, alright. Should I put out two more places for dinner?”

“Actually, Mrs. Murphy—“

He claps Evan on the back before answering, “That would be lovely, Mrs. Murphy. Thank you so much for your hospitality.”

Evan flashes him a confused look and Connor glares at him angrily.

“Great! Dinner will be ready soon. Hope you guys are hungry!” She saunters back into the kitchen, leaving a very pissed Connor and a concerned Evan behind.

“Don’t give me those looks. If I’m gonna be part of someone’s personal freak show, I would like to get compensated with a meal at least,” Jared reasons.

“Evan?” Zoe questions as she comes down the stairs.

“H-hi, Zoe,” Evan greets shyly.

“Hey, I thought I heard voices down here. What are you guys doing here?”

“Obviously, I invited them,” Connor retorts. “Is dad here? I need to talk to him.”

“He’s in his office, smart ass,” she claps back. “'What do you want to talk to him about? You’ve been giving each other the silent treatment all week.”

“None of your business, Zoe,” he grits his patient running thin.

Zoe tuts, “Whatever. Just keep your voice down in front of your guests if you’re planning a screaming match.”

She’s about to leave when Evan calls, “Zoe, wait. Um…” He turns to Connor. “If… this works. She should get to know what we’re planning, right?”

Connor observes his eyes dart between him and Zoe as he nervously wrings his scarf in his hand. _Dammit, how can he be so damn considerate?_ He loosens his defensive posture and relents, “Okay… Lemme just talk to my dad alone first and I’ll come get you three. That is if things turn out well…” He turns his attention to his sister. “You can stay, just give me a few minutes.”

“Wow, that’s so nice of you. Evan should come visit more often,” she taunts sarcastically.

“Don’t make me regret my decision, Zo,” he warns dryly.

-

Connor stands outside his father’s office door, his knuckles a few inches away from knocking on it. He listens to the clicking and dinging of the typewriter. God, when was the last time he even bothered to check on his dad while he was in there. Eventually, he knocks on the wooden door briskly. “Not now, Cynthia. I’ll eat later,” Larry announces still typing away undeterred.

“It’s Connor, Dad…” he reveals. “Can we talk?”

The cacophony of sound stops abruptly and there’s a pause that’s almost palpable. Connor hears his footsteps approach the door and the sound of the latch unhooking. Larry opens the door, his face stern yet worn with exhaustion. “Come in,” he permits. Connor nods and sits down in the seat across from Larry’s desk. “So… What did you need?”

Connor nervously chips the paint of the armrest, realizing he didn’t think this through. He hasn’t talked to his dad without arguing in so long he doesn’t even know where to start. He inhales before speaking up. “I wanted to talk to you about the circus…”

Larry rubs his temple in circles. “Look… I don’t want to argue about this right now. I know you’re upset that we’re selling it but I’m trying my best to make things right—“

“I’m sorry,” Connor blurts. He doesn’t know where they come from but once those words are out in the open, he feels a weight lift from the room.

His father stares at him blankly. “…What?”

“I’m sorry, Dad. For everything… I’m sorry I blamed you for everything when all I did was complain and… I’m sorry for not trying hard enough,” he mutters.

Larry’s expression softens, the worry lines on his forehead smoothing out. “I’m sorry too, Son… I expected you to make up for my failures and… it wasn’t fair of me to put that on your shoulders.”

Connor feels a lump grow in his throat and he clears it out with a cough. “Thanks for the apology, Dad but… I’m finally ready to contribute.” Larry quirks an eyebrow in confusion. “We have an idea that might help out the circus.”

Larry sighs, “I appreciate the sentiment but we’re past saving, Connor. I have a buyer already lined up who’s willing to purchase the deed to the land,” he explains melancholically.

“It’s not over until you sign it over, Dad. Just give us a few minutes and we’ll explain our plan,” Connor persists.

He stares back at Connor in disbelief, seeing a passion that he thought had been snuffed out a long time ago. “Alright… Let’s hear it.”

-

Larry sorts through papers while he waits for Connor to come back. He looks up when the door opens to see him joined with Zoe and two other boys. “Hello?” It takes a moment but he finally recognizes them. “You two were at our last show right?”

“Uh, yes, sir,” he confirms.

“Well, thank you for the support. Although, I still don’t understand what’s going on?”

“You and me both,” Zoe comments.

Evan fidgets nervously but Connor encourages, “Take your time.”

The boy takes a deep breath before stammering, “Well, Connor and I had the idea of bringing something new to the circus. Something, uh… different. People who are different, specifically.”

“Different, how?” Larry presses skeptically.

“S-sorry, I’m not explaining myself very well. What I mean is—“

“Freaks. Weirdos. Nature’s mistakes. You know, that kind of different,” Jared interrupts bluntly.

“Jared!” Evan exclaims indignantly.

“What? I’m sparing everyone your rambling,” he defends. “So, Mr. Murphy what do you think? I personally think it’s ridiculous but, hey, I’m not the one with the sinking business here.”

Evan is absolutely mortified and Connor is pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration; both of them deeply regretting inviting him. Larry finally speaks up, “That’s certainly… interesting. I just don’t see where we’d find, er, the kind of people you’re describing though.”

Evan composes himself before responding, “Well… you’ve got two here willing to volunteer.” Both Larry and Zoe stare at them perplexedly. Evan reaches his hands up to unwrap his scarf but Connor touches his wrist lightly.

“Remember… you don’t have to do this.”

“I know, Connor... I’ll be okay.” Connor lowers his hands and Evan continues. With a swift movement, he takes his scarf off, revealing his condition once again. Zoe gasps a bit and Larry’s eyes widen. “Just, uh, ignore the bruise on my nose. That’s usually not there…” He pulls his gloves off and rolls up his sleeves to demonstrate the extent of his rough skin.

There’s a tense silence before Larry steps forward to take a better look. “Fascinating…” he gapes, observing the coarse texture.

Zoe musters up the courage to tentatively ask, “Can I… feel it?”

Evan lets out a staggered sigh, relieved that she didn’t bolt for the door. “G-go, ahead,” Evan allows, holding his arm up.

Jared watches in shock as Evan displays himself to the Murphys and Connor feels guilt for allowing it.

She wanders toward him and gently runs her fingers along a patch on his right forearm. “Woah… it even feels like wood,” Zoe notes. “Can you feel that I’m touching you here?”

“It’s more like pressure but yeah I can feel it,” he clarifies.

She gives him a reassuring smile. “It’s kind of amazing, actually.”

As he watches Zoe’s and Larry’s reaction, Jared’s fear starts to subside. “Alright. My turn to get this over with.” He starts to unbutton his thick coat and then hands it to a reluctant Connor. Although he appears self-assured, Jared is fighting his nerves back as he turns around to reveal his distorted back.

Larry examines the hunch on Jared’s back. “This… is definitely more than ‘interesting’,” he concludes. “My father once told me there was a Russian circus that featured people like the world’s tallest man and a boy with a tail. I just never figured there would be people like you two living right under our noses.”

“Well, we preferred to keep it that way but… if we can get more attention for the circus. I think it’s time to stop hiding.”

“I don’t know, Evan… It feels like we’d be exploiting you guys,” Zoe voices her concern.

“N-no, don’t think about it like that. It’s not like you’d be forcing anyone to do anything. We can hold auditions for anyone who _wants_ to come join,” he pitches.

This eases Zoe a smidge but there’s still a feeling of worry hanging over all of them. Connor breaks the silence first. “So… what do you say, Dad? Can we try to make this work?”

Larry sits back down at his desk, deliberating what to say next. “I’m grateful that you all are trying to help. But the reality of the situation is, pardon my French, the bank is on my ass right now. Even if we can somehow make this work, it might not be in time before they evict us if we don’t sell.”

Connor stays quiet for a moment, knowing how dire the situation is. “How long do you think you can postpone the sale?”

His father shuffles through the papers he was working on. “At most… I’d say three weeks and that’s being generous. Now, you have to realize… If we do this, you have to think about how to execute all of this. That means advertising, recruiting, hiring, etc. If you really want to do this, you have to put in all your effort.”

“I know, Dad… Like I said before, I’m ready to start taking more responsibilities.”

Larry nods his head. “Then you have my permission… and my blessings.”

Evan smiles elatedly at a dismayed Connor.

“And you’ll have my help too, Connor. There’s no way I’m letting you handle this alone,” Zoe bids.

“Thank you… Thank you all,” he smiles. “Even you, Kleinman.”

Jared taps his heart dramatically. “Awe, you’re making me feel all fuzzy inside.”

“Guys, dinners ready!” Cynthia opens the door and yelps in surprise. “Oh!”

Evan winces a bit remembering they had forgotten to warn Connor’s mom about their appearance.

“Oh, boys, I’m so sorry about my reaction,” she frantically apologizes. “I just wasn’t expecting, you know,” she tries to articulate.

“Don’t worry about it, Mrs. Murphy,” Evan reassures.

“Well, we’re gonna get a lot more reactions like that once we join the circus. So, we better get used to it,” Jared remarks.

Cynthia’s eyebrows shoot up. “Larry… what’s all this about? You told me you were already selling the circus!”

Connor jumps in his father’s defense. “This isn’t on him, Mom. This idea was Evan and mine.”

“What are you talking about, sweetheart?”

Her son shrugs nonchalantly. “We’re going to save the circus.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No more emotional constipation for Larry and Connor! Anyway guys I've recently been on a roll with this story and I'm super excited! I have the next two chapters written out and I'm going put them out in the next couple of weeks after some finessing! Also I have a whole crew of new characters and I cannot wait for you guys to meet them!


	13. A Place Where You Don’t Have to Feel Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Zoe and Evan are advertising the auditions, they meet a potential candidate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was planning on posting tomorrow but decided to put it out today as a Valentine's Day treat :3

As Zoe and Evan walk down the snowy street, they look for walls and store windows they can put their posters up: **WANTED! Unique Persons and Curiosities. Male or Female. Young or Old. All Welcome. Auditions Friday the 28 th of November at the Murphy Circus. Begins at 12:00 pm.**

“Zoe, can I ask you something?”

“Technically, you already did,” she jokes lightly.

Evan chuckles breathily, “Fine. I’ll ask something else. Do… do you think this plan will work? Jared thinks it’s doomed to fail and I feel like Connor is trying to be optimistic for my sake. You’re kind of the one who’s the most unbiased out of anyone I know so… be brutally honest if you have to.”

Zoe rubs her reddening nose to warm it up. “Well… If you want me to be honest… I don’t really know what’s going to happen. I mean, you and Jared are willing to perform for the more personal reason that you want to help. I just don’t know if people will have the motivation to risk their safety for a few minutes of fame.” She glances over to Evan who’s looking dismally at his feet as he walks. “Sorry, if that was too brutal,” she murmurs.

“It’s alright. I know I have to manage my expectations.”

Zoe nudges his shoulder affectionately. “Regardless of how all of this turns out. I want to thank you for everything you’ve done for my family. That’s why I wanted to come with you to put the posters. I wanted to let you know that I’ll always be grateful to you for giving my brother back… I haven’t seen him this happy in so long time and it’s all because of you.”

Evan’s blushes furiously underneath his scarf. “Um, that’s nice of you to say, Zoe, but I doubt I’m the sole purpose of that,” he reasons humbly.

“Well, you might not believe it but it’s the truth,” she guarantees. He decides not to dispute Zoe and they continue to walk through the plaza. “Oh! There’s a boutique near here that gets a lot of foot traffic. That might be a good spot to put a couple of these up.”

Evan takes her word for it and they head over. As Evan starts to nail the poster on the store’s announcement board, Zoe peers inside through the window. As she watches the bustle inside, she notices the owner arguing with one of the patrons. Actually, it’s more like she’s yelling while the dark-skinned girl in a floral print dress is desperately trying to get a few words in. It doesn’t take long for Zoe to realize the context of the situation and quickly decides to intervene. “Evan, I’ll be right back.” By the time Evan turns to look, he watches Zoe go inside.

“I have the money to pay for it,” the girl swears as she pushes her glasses up in frustration.

The owner purses her lips, deepening her wrinkles. “Well, I have the right to refuse service to anyone. Besides, I can assure you these fine clothes wouldn’t suit you,” she insults.

“Is there something wrong here, Mildred?” Zoe interrupts.

The woman quickly plasters on a fake smile. “Miss Murphy, how nice to see you again. I’m sorry that this _unruly_ girl is causing such a scene.”

“Is she now? Because it seems like the one causing a scene here is you,” she accuses.

“Excuse me,” Mildred gasps crossly.

“Miss, it’s fine. I’ll just go now,” the girl suggests trying to diffuse the situation.

She puts her hand on her shoulder calmly. “No, it is _not_ fine.” She turns her attention to the huffy woman. “You know it’s a real shame to see you turning away customers, Mildred. My mom certainly won’t be happy to find out when I tell her,” she threatens passively. “And she was so excited to buy her dress here for the winter gala.”

Mildred straightens her posture, tucking a loose, grey hair into her bun. “No need to make such a fuss, Miss Murphy. This is just a sad misunderstanding. I’ll ring up the young lady right now,” she grits through her forced grin.

“Perfect,” Zoe chirps sardonically. The girl stares at her with a bewildered expression. “That is if you still want to give her your business because I wouldn’t blame you if you preferred to take it elsewhere.”

“N-no, I would still like to make my purchase here.”

“I’ll be waiting at the cash register then,” Mildred rigidly declares.

Zoe waits for her to walk away and glares at the people watching the scene until they disperse. “Don’t worry. I’ll wait here to make sure she can’t change her mind,” she promises.

“Thank you, Miss, but you really don’t have to.”

“You can just call me, Zoe. What’s your name?”

“Um, Alana,” she introduces.

Zoe holds her hand out and Alana hesitantly takes it. “Nice to meet you, Alana. Although I wish it had been under better circumstances though.”

Alana smiles shyly. She looks at the display and picks up her desired item: a pair of tan winter gloves with brown fur lining the cuffs. “It’s a little cruel to use rabbit fur for insulation but my mom… she really wanted a pair like this. So, I’ll just keep my moral qualms to myself,” she explains.

Zoe giggles, “Animal cruelty aside, it’s the thought that counts.”

-

Evan has been nervously waiting outside, wondering if he should go inside to help Zoe. However, at least from the window, she seemed to be handling things well. He lets out a sigh of relief when he sees Zoe walk out but she’s not alone. “Zoe, is everything okay?” he presses worriedly.

“Yeah, the store owner was being a bitch but we got it settled. Oh and this is Alana. Alana this is my friend Evan.” Both of them awkwardly wave at each other and Zoe notices they have the same level of social awkwardness.

“I’m glad everything is okay. And I, uh, got the signs up so we should probably keep moving,” he suggests.

“Oh, what are you guys advertising?” Alana asks curiously.

“Uh, we’re looking for workers. People who are unique that might want to perform in the circus,” Evan explains, motioning to the poster.

Alana goes to inspect it further, adjusting her glasses. “When you say ‘all welcome’, do you really mean all?”

“Of course,” Evan confirms.

“Why, would you be interested in auditioning? ‘Cause you’re welcome to come,” Zoe offers.

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly but thank you for offering. I should probably get going anyway.”

“Wait, in case you change your mind, take this.” Evan holds out a flyer toward Alana. “It wouldn’t hurt to think about it,” he advises.

“Thank you… Good luck with everything.” She waves goodbye and heads her way.

Evan turns to Zoe with a fond smile. “What?”

“Sorry, it’s just… You and Connor are a lot alike. Although, I think neither of you would care to admit it.”

“Oh, why is that?”

“Both of you are brave enough to stand up to others. I don’t know if Connor ever told you but that’s how we met. He helped me when a merchant that saw my face pushed me down.”

“I didn’t know that…”

“Yeah… it was one of the few times someone made feel… human. Like I was worth saving… I guess that’s why I feel like I’m the lucky one for having him as a friend,” he confesses.

Zoe squeezes his forearm and smiles thoughtfully at him. “I think you’re both lucky to have each other.”

On the opposite side of the street, Connor is watching this friendly interaction between them. However, he can’t control the pang of jealousy that twists in his stomach. The fact that his sister and best friend are so close, leaves a bad taste in his mouth. _Calm down, you are not entitled to be Evan’s only friend_. He takes a deep breath before making his way toward them. “Hey,” he greets, trying to hide his bitter tone.

Evan turns his head toward Connor. “Oh, hey! Did you finish putting up your flyers?”

“Yep. Anything to get away from Kleinman’s yapping. How about you two?”

“We kind of got sidetracked a bit so we still have some left. But, we met someone who might be interested in auditioning!”

Connor’s irritation calms as he sees him so excited. “Okay, well let’s pick up the slack then before Kleinman realizes I ditched him.”


	14. No More Living in Those Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The auditions finally arrive but not without emotions running high

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new set of characters make an entrance :D

The day of the audition rolls around and everyone is helping organize the stage to hold the interviews. Katarina pushes past the curtains of the entrance. “Okay, Mr. O’Malley got the directory signs up so people can find their way here.”

“Thank you, Katarina. It means a lot that you came back,” Zoe asserts.

“Of course, _malyshka_. You know you guys have been my family for the last fifteen years. I would do anything for you,” she says with a smile that deepens her small crow’s feet. Zoe wraps her in a hug and Katarina pets her head affectionately. Along with being Larry’s assistant, she had acted as a nanny for Connor and her, practically, their whole childhood. “I’m just sorry I couldn’t convince the others to come back.”

Zoe shakes her head at her. “It’s not your fault. Besides, if things go well today… maybe they’ll give the circus another chance.”

“That’s the spirit! You’ll see, everything will be okay.”

-

Perhaps, Katarina had spoken too soon considering it’s been two hours since people were supposed to show up. Zoe watches Connor pacing around impatiently, Evan chewing on his nails nervously and Jared dully tossing a ball up in the air. “Jesus, will you guys lighten up a bit? So people are late, big deal.” She’s trying her best to placate the situation but she’s still not convinced herself that people will show up.

“Late?” Jared scoffs. “See, half an hour is fashionably late. An hour is inconveniently late. _Two_ hours is a pretty good sign they’ve decided not to come.”

The cynicism in Jared’s voice is the last straw for Connor. He snaps, “Do you ever shut your fucking mouth, Kleinman?”

Zoe interjects, “Connor, calm down—“

“How the fuck do you expect me to calm down, when he keeps running his mouth? Seems like the only reason he’s here is to be a pain in our asses!”

“Well, I’m not too keen on working with a psychotic, hot-head,” he retorts. “Unfortunately for both of us, beggars can’t be choosers. You should be thankful because the only reason I’m doing this is as a favor to Evan, not you.”

“And _you_ should be thankful that I don’t punch your teeth in right now,” he barks.

“Connor! Jared! Stop,” Evan pleas.

“He started it,” he shouts, making Evan flinch. “God, this was a fucking mistake! I should have never agreed to this stupid idea!”

“Connor,” Zoe gasps, completely mortified.

By the time he realizes what he said, Evan looks like a kicked puppy. Knowing he can’t take it back, Connor growls in frustration and storms out of the big top.

She turns to Evan who is completely distraught. “Evan… He didn’t mean that,” she comforts.

Evan sniffs, “…I don’t blame him for thinking that though. It was delusional of me to think this could work and… I just got his hopes up.”

“We all agreed to do this… and we all needed that hope. Besides, it’s not too late. We’ll wait until midnight if we have to but we’re not giving up, okay?”

Evan wipes a tear away. “Okay…” he murmurs.

“As for Connor, just give him time to cool off. He’ll come around again.”

“I hope you’re right…”

-

Outside of the tent, Connor walks along a patch of snow, making patterns with his footprints. It’s something he used to do as a child whenever he wanted to calm down. Admittedly, right now, he was acting pretty childish. He had yelled at his friend who was only trying to help… who was trying to keep him from leaving. Typical of him to lash out at anyone he comes into contact with.

He hears the crunch of snow behind him and feels a small tap on his shoulder. “Um, excuse me.” He turns to see a girl in glasses behind him. “Sorry to bother you, but do you work here? I just want to confirm that the auditions were still being held here.”

“Yeah, I do… Wait you’re actually here for the auditions?”

“Y-yes. Um, Zoe and Evan told me I could come by. I am so sorry I’m late but I had my doubts about the whole situation. Still, I figured that I should at least make an attempt even if it was unlikely I would get the job,” she rambles.

It dawns on Connor this must’ve been the person that Evan said was interested in coming. “It’s okay… You’re not too late.”

He leads her inside, away from the biting cold. As he reenters, Zoe and Evan are still patiently waiting at the table they set up while Jared is still messing around with his ball. “Hey…” Connor calls out dully.

“Hey,” Evan gulps wearily.

“You good?” she asks pointedly. Even though she wants to rip him a new one for throwing a tantrum, Zoe decides its best to just keep things civil… for now.

“Yes,” he huffs running his hand through his hair to his nape. “We’ve got a visitor…” He steps aside to reveal Alana, loitering behind him a bit. Katarina basically gasps in excitement while Evan and Jared’s eyes widen in surprise.

“Holy shit,” Jared mutters in dismay.

Zoe smiles brightly at her. “Alana, you made it!”

Katarina ushers her to take a seat and Alana does so hesitantly while Connor joins the rest at the table. Now that she’s closer, Alana notices the rough patches on Evan’s skin and Jared’s hunched back. Part of her is comforted by the fact that they themselves are unique but she doesn’t want to be rude by pointing it out. “Hello… I know I’m already not making a good impression by coming late,” she apologizes profusely.

Jared chimes, “You’re the only person who’s showed up. I’d say you’re in the lead.”

“Oh...”

“You made it and that’s what matters. We’re grateful for giving us your time,” Evan praises.

Alana relaxes in her seat. “And I’m grateful to you for having me.”

“Alright, then let’s get started,” Zoe suggests. She pulls out the questionnaire she made for the interview. “Can you please give us your full name and age?”

“Alana Beck. Age 18.” Katarina scribbles down the information on her notepad.

“Are you currently employed?”

“I work as a seamstress with my mom,” she relays.

“Okay. Now, can you tell us what makes you unique?”

“I’m a contortionist. I can bend my body in practically any way I want. It’s not really something that I’ve done in front of many people though. It’s more of a party trick that I like to do for my family or friends. Well not really friends. More of acquaintances I should say.”

“That’s fine. You don’t have to have any professional experience,” Connor informs. “However, we’ll expect you to be able to follow a choreography along with a solo routine.”

Alana feels her throat go dry but she nods with a chipper smile. “I’m a fast learner so it shouldn’t be a problem!”

Zoe and Evan smile at her enthusiasm. “Can we have a demonstration right now?” Zoe requests.

“Of course!” Alana gets up from her seat and starts to unbutton her coat to reveal a simple black unitard. After removing her boots, she walks over to the mat they had set up, trying to suppress her jitters. She takes a deep breath, before bending backward until her hands meet the floor, tucking her head between her thighs. Everyone watches in awe as she gives them a little wave from that position. She untucks her head and proceeds to do a handstand. From there she drapes her legs backward until her lower-back touches the top of her head.

“Woah!” Evan yells in shock.

“Oh. My. God,” Jared breathes.

She lowers her feet all the way down to the mat, curling herself into a ball. Alana rolls back until she’s lying flat on her chest and puts her legs up perpendicularly so that she forms an “L”. She bends her knees until her feet touch her head and they all cheer excitedly sans Connor who is simply leaning back with an impressed grin. With that Alana finishes her routine and the group erupts into claps.

“Alana, that was amazing,” Zoe cheers.

“Holy shit, you’re like a freaking python!” Jared compliments.

The last of her nerves lift away as she hears all the praise. “Thank you. It means a lot,” she beams.

“Um, hello,” a male voice calls out.

“See! I told you there’d be other people,” a female voice claims.

They all look toward the entrance to see two people standing there. As they approach, they can see the pair have ghostly white skin and pale blue eyes. Even their hair, eyelashes and eyebrows are snowy white despite their youthful appearance.

“Hi, there. I’m Jonavy and this my brother Gale and… we’d like to audition.”

They soon learn that Jonavy and Gale Hertz, age 24, are fraternal twins born with albinism. They come from a long lineage of ballet dancers but were currently unemployed. They had been rejected by every theater they had auditioned for and it seemed like everyone’s reasoning was that they would be a distraction from the rest of the performers. However, Connor assured them that distracting is exactly what they were looking for.

From that point, it seemed like they got the lucky break they had been waiting for as more people trickled in for the next few hours.

After the twins, a sixteen-year-old girl named Nadine Mills came in against her older sisters’ wishes. She works at her family’s flower shop as a floral arranger, mostly confining herself to the back. Her olive skin seemed to be covered in scales that extended through most of her extremities including around her forehead and jawline. She retold that the children used to call her a demon because of her condition. Yet, the more Evan observed her long, raven hair and bright sapphire eyes he couldn’t help point out that she appeared more like a mermaid. A compliment that made her blush furiously but finally got her to smile for the first time in the interview.

Next, was a forty-year-old farmer named Ezra Porter who's complexion is a light blue hue. He explained that all the men in his family for generations had been afflicted with this disorder but he speculates that it ended with him since he only had daughters. Ezra warned them he was a bit inept at dancing but assured them he was a skilled animal trainer and horse rider.

The last person, presumably, of the day was a nineteen-year-old named Mason Reese. He had a particularly large nose that looked more like a beak and a particularly small chin. Because of that, he had earned the cruel nickname “chicken-boy” for most of his life. While he did work at a factory, he also made extra cash juggling on the streets so he could help out his father and little brother.

In total, they had gotten six new members and Connor instructed them all to come by the next day to start rehearsals early in the morning. As he shuffles through everyone’s files he still can’t believe they got more people. By this time it was around eight o’clock at night and Connor watches Evan rub his eyes tiredly, knowing it’s been a long day. Between the interviews, he hadn’t plucked up the courage to apologize to him for what he said. He turns to Zoe and asks, “Zo, can you, uh, check with Katarina to see if the coffee is ready?”

It doesn’t take long for Zoe to realize that he just wants to be alone with Evan for a bit. “Sure thing. Um, Jared, can you help me and Katarina with the coffee?”

Jared rolls his eyes, knowing what her little scheme is but he begrudgingly accepts. As they head backstage, Evan tugs at his suspender nervously still unsure if Connor was going to talk to him or not. However, that worry eases once the taller boy gently clasps a hand over his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Evan… I’m sorry for what I said earlier.”

“Connor, it’s ok—“

“Please, don’t say it was okay because it wasn’t,” he implores pitifully. “All of this,” he motions to the papers in front of them. “It’s because of you… because you believed that this would work. And I couldn’t even wait two hours without blowing up… Seems I tend to do that when things get rough.” He rubs his forehead in frustration. “But… I promise I’ll try to do better, Evan.”

Evan overlays his hand over his. “I accept your apology and… I want you to know that I believe in you too.”

Connor’s cheeks flush pink but he smiles coyly and lets their foreheads lightly bump. “You’re… the absolute best, Evan Hansen.”

Evan feels his cheeks heat up as well and he suddenly becomes acutely aware of how close they are right now. Connor’s breathe grazing his lips and his cologne filling Evan’s nostrils makes him feel breathless… soothed even. The trance is broken with a shrill little, “Yoohoo!”

They pull apart and see a fair woman flouncing toward them with a bright smile. She dons a white fur coat and her burgundy hair is tucked in a bun with a few curls hanging on the side of her face. “Titus, darling, do pick up the pace, please. We’re already dreadfully late,” she requests in a teasing manner. Behind her a bronze man with a shaven head, caddies a rolled piece of fabric on his shoulder. The pair approach the table and the boys compose themselves. “I’m so very sorry for arriving at this ungodly hour. For transparency sake, I was a bit ‘indisposed’ this afternoon after a _very_ long night. By the time I woke up, I had to give myself a few hours of extra pampering to look as lovely as I do now,” she explains cheerfully. Almost as if she wasn’t just admitting to being hungover for the greater part of the day. “Luckily, for me, sweet Titus here was patient enough to wait for me, despite me insisting he go without me.” She hugs his forearm, pressing her rouged cheek to it affectionately causing a faint smile to appear on the stoic man’s face.

“It’s alright,” Evan assures. “Thank you both for making time to come.”

“Well, aren’t you the sweetest little thing?” she asks flirtatiously which causes Evan to blush slightly. “Oh, how awfully rude of me to not properly introduce ourselves.” She daintily extends her satin-gloved out to Evan first. “Pleased to make your acquaintance, I’m Lorelei Jenkins and this is Titus Matthew.”

Evan shakes her hand and Connor introduces himself as well. “Please have a seat,” Evan instructs.

Both of them sit down and Connor decides to take over the interview in Zoe’s absence. “Can you state your age?”

Lorelei makes a dramatic gasping noise. “Connor, dear, did your mother never tell you should never ask a woman her age?”

“S-sorry, we didn’t mean to offend you. It’s just a formality,” Evan quickly clarifies.

She giggles playfully, “You are too precious.” She winks at Connor. “Hold on to this one. He’s a keeper.” Connor coughs nervously and Evan gets flustered at her suggestion but she pays no mind to it. “Anywho, if you must know. I’m 28 years old.”

“34,” Titus simply states in a gruff voice.

While Evan scribbles down the information, Connor continues, “Are you currently employed?”

“Oh no, I recently left my previous job. I used to work at The Evening Primroses as a sort of ‘entertainer’ if you catch my drift.” Connor and Evan realize what she’s insinuating as they recall that the establishment she’s referring to is a known brothel in town. “Titus was the bodyguard for me and the other girls but he also was my stage partner. Unfortunately, we had some… conflict of interests with the madam there.” Lorelei glances at Titus, almost compassionately. “So we decided to start fresh and find new horizons together. I hope our background doesn’t ruin our prospects of working here.”

“We’re not one to judge here. If anything your guys’ experience performing actually helps. Can you tell us what exactly you do?”

Lorelei perks up a bit. “I’d thought you’d never ask. Well, I’m a sword swallower while Titus is a fire performer. We’re also both dancers,” she adds.

As the pair start setting up for their demonstration, Jared and Zoe return with a few tin cups of coffee. “Lovely! We have a full audience, Titus!” She takes off her fur coat to reveal a pink lace dress underneath.

Titus also takes off his coat and shirt revealing an extensive tattoo design all over his muscular torso and back. They start their routine with an elegant yet sensual dance that highlights an undeniable bond between them. Their graceful choreography turns more passionate as they act out a lovers’ quarrel. As things heat up, Titus grabs a baton and lights it on fire while Lorelei grabs a rapier. Titus pretends to take swings at her while she deflects them with her sword. He takes a swig from a flask and spews a plume of fire toward her as she dodges it. In their tussle, Titus manages to get the sword away from her and presses their body tightly together. They stare intensely at each other as he raises the rapier high before slowly inserting down her throat. Zoe lets out a small squeak as she covers her mouth in utter shock. Once the hilt reaches Lorelei’s lips she pretends to go limp in Titus’s arms.

Everyone at the table is feeling a mixture of fear yet exhilaration as Lorelei revives and gives them a bow with the sword still lodged down her throat. She takes the rapier out slowly and stabs it into the dirt, concluding their routine. They all give them a round of applause as they recover from what they just witnessed.

“Awe, you all are too kind. It’s definitely refreshing not hearing any inappropriate heckling for a change.” She intertwines her fingers with Titus’s and looks at them expectedly. “So… Did we get the job?”

Evan grins at them. “Welcome to the greatest show.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to keep the intros to some of the OCs brief but they will each get more screen time. I just wanted to highlight Lorelei and Titus first because I got too invested in their backstory XD


	15. What They Don't Know Yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone gets ready for the Greatest Show

As the next two weeks go by, everyone has been getting ready for the show. Larry, Zoe, and Connor have been in charge of training everyone; all of them trying to make sure that everyone nails the group routine. Of course, when you put ten individuals with limited performing skills, there were bound to be hiccups. Still, with every trip and uncoordinated movement, there was an unfettered motivation from all of them to put their best effort.

Along with practicing, everyone has been contributing in their own way. Alana and her mother were kind enough to design and sew new costumes for everyone. Nadine got an assortment of flowers from the shop that they could use to decorate the arena with. Ezra brought a couple of his farm animals, which included a pig and a border collie, so they could be part of the act. Mason had even convinced some street musicians he sometimes performed alongside with to help out too.

While everyone else helped with the show itself, Jared and Evan had been in charge of marketing it. Evan had drawn out more poster designs featuring all the members of the troupe. They came to the decision of keeping everyone’s identity abstract enough to pique people’s curiosity and create a narrative much like the fantasy books Evan liked to read. It was also mainly to prevent Heidi and the Kleinmans from realizing what their sons were up to. So Evan decided to keep his stage name as the Dryad while Jared chose Quasimodo. Alana was going to be Lady Naga, the twins the Porcelain Dolls, Nadine the Fiji Mermaid, Ezra the Last Man of Minch, Mason was Horus, Lorelei the Queen of Spades, and Titus was Drago.

Everything was going according to plan, but now they had to wait to see if people would come to watch. They had to wait to see if all their effort was in vain or not….

The night of the show is nothing short of hectic as everyone is scrambling to put the finishing touches to their routines and costumes. Lorelei is helping all the girls with their hair and makeup, something she was bursting with excitement to do. Titus is helping Larry set up the arena while, in the men’s dressing room, Mason is fixing his blonde hair into a braid and Gale is doing some stretching exercises.

In the corner of the room, Connor sees Evan buttoning up his vest with trembling hands. He finds himself admiring how handsome he looks in the green, velvet fabric embroidered with a golden, floral vine design. As he adjusts the ivy wreath on his head, Evan finally catches Connor staring at him through the mirror and he jumps a bit. “H-hey, I didn’t know you were here. Um, Jared is at the stable helping Ezra with the animals. Although, I think he just secretly wanted to go pet the dog,” he jokes trying to loosen his nerves.

Connor saunters toward him. “Good to know but I’d rather know how you’re doing?”

Evan rubs his bare arms shyly. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified right now. I don’t think I’ve shown off this much skin since I was five.”

Connor smirks and shrugs a little. “I mean, I’m not complaining,” he winks.

Evan blushes embarrassedly and sputters, “Yeah but you’re my best friend. Of course, you don’t mind.”

Connor giggles at his expense and pats his shoulder. “Hey, it’ll be okay. We’ve literally gotten through some of the hardest parts already. No matter what happens after tonight. I want you to know I’m proud of you, Evan.”

He smiles at him warmly. “I’m proud of you too, Connor. All of this would’ve just been an idea if you hadn’t supported it—”

“Guys, we have a situation,” Zoe blurts as she pushes past the curtain.

“What’s wrong, Zo?”

“We don’t know where Nadine is,” she admits. “She was already in costume but when Lorelei was ready for her, we couldn’t find her anymore.”

“Okay, don’t panic. We’ll find her,” Connor calms. “I’ll go check the stables and you ask Katarina to check with Mr. O’Malley if he saw her leave.”

“I already did, she didn’t leave out the front.”

 “Have you checked under the bleachers?” Evan suggests

“N-no not, yet.”

“Alright, you two sweep the perimeter while I’ll go check the stables,” Connor directs. “And please don’t let Dad find out. We don’t need him having a stroke right now.”

They go their separate ways, Zoe taking the left wing while Evan takes the right. He stumbles a bit since the lighting is poor underneath the benches. Despite this, it doesn’t prevent him from hearing a muffled sob farther ahead. He follows the sound and sees a petite figure curled up on the floor. “Nadine?”

She lifts her head up and quickly wipes her face. She sniffs, “Evan, what are you doing here?”

“We’ve been looking for you. Are you okay? Are you hurt,” he presses worriedly as he sits down next to her

She shakes her head. “I-I’m not hurt but…” Tears start welling in her eyes again. “I can’t do this, Evan,” she croaks. “I can’t go out there. No matter what, you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. No amount of lace or jewels or makeup can keep people from thinking I’m a monster,” she cries miserably, burying her face in her knees again.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he hushes, rubbing her shoulder soothingly.

“There you guys are,” Zoe calls, soon realizing how distressed Nadine is. “What happened?”

“She’s scared,” Evan explains. “Can you, uh, give us a minute alone?”

She nods her head. “I’ll… let everyone know we found her.”

Once, Zoe leaves, Nadine sniffles, “I’m sorry I disappointed you guys.”

“Nadine, it’s alright… I know all of this was a lot to ask from all of you. Honestly, if someone asked me a few weeks ago to go out in front of all those people, I would’ve refused too. Scratch that, I would’ve had a panic attack and then refused,” he chuckles lightly.

She smiles weakly before asking, “What… made you change your mind?”

Evan recalls Connor grazing his finger along his cheek and the wonder in Liam and Abel’s eyes. “I met people who reminded me I was more than a monster. They reminded me that I was human and… that I was special all the same. Just like you. Just like everyone else here.”

Nadine looks down at her arms. “But what if the people that show up aren’t like that? What if they scream when they see me?”

Evan gulps silently. “They might… I’d be lying to you if that wasn’t a possibility.” Nadine’s eyes widen but he quickly adds, “But if that’s the case it’ll say more about them than you because you’re just being yourself…”

She stays silent for a moment. “You know the reason I auditioned was that my mom always wanted me to find my own place in this world. She would tell me to stop hiding in the back of the store and start standing up for myself. But I never did and… now she’ll never get to see me do it. I thought this would be my chance to make it up to her. It turns out I’m still a coward,” she admonishes herself bleakly.

“You’re not a coward, Nadine. You’re just human… If you don’t want to perform, no one will fault you for it. Whatever decision you make, I’ll back you up, okay?”

She wraps her arm around his neck and squeezes him in a hug. “Thank you, Evan,” she whimpers. She pulls away wiping the corner of her eyes. “Thank you for being so kind…. But just because you guys could forgive me, it doesn’t mean I’d be able to forgive myself. So… I’ll do it.”

“Are you sure?”

She laughs humorlessly. “Not at all… But I owe it to you guys and myself to do this.”

He gives her a comforting smile. “Alright... Now let’s get back to everyone.”

They weave their way backstage and are greeted with a few concerned faces. Zoe approaches them cautiously. “Is everything okay?”

Nadine nods her head. “Yes, I’m fine. Just had a bit of stage fright that’s all.”

Lorelei ambles toward her and notices the blotchiness in her face. “Oh, love, you must have been awfully scared. Fret not though because by the time I’m finished, you’re going to look even more stunning than you are. Come, come sit down.” She leads Nadine by the wrist and sits her down on a stool so she could get to work.

Once Lorelei is done with Nadine, he hands her a mirror to see her handiwork. She gapes in awe, almost not believing she’s staring at herself. Lorelei had pinned her curled hair back with a seashell comb, accentuated her eyes with lavender eyeshadow and painted her lips a nude coral. She had even dusted iridescent paint over her “scales” to make them like a mermaid’s. “Lorelei… this is amazing!” She hugs her tightly.

“Trust me, beautiful, you did not need that much work. I just added a little more glamour that’s all.”

In truth, Lorelei had done a spectacular job with everyone. Alana had green, satin ribbons wrapped around each of her braids to match her leotard and her eyes and lips were painted gold. Jonavy had her hair up in a tight ballerina bun with two silver barrettes shaped as feathers tucked into either side. She also had wispy feathers on her upper eyelashes, silver eyeshadow and light pink lipstick. For her own look, Lorelei had on a black swan feather fascinator, eccentric smoky black eyeshadow, a small spade drawn underneath each eye and dark burgundy lips. Even Zoe, who has usually kept her appearance somewhat subtle, has royal blue eyeshadow, red lipstick and indigo streaks chalked through her hair.

Katarina comes bursting through the curtain in excitement. “Zoe! Evan! Come look at this!”

The pair make their way to the arena entrance and they see Larry, peeking through the curtain. “Dad, what’s going on?”

“See for yourself,” he instructs pointing through the crack.

Zoe and Evan step up first and her eyes widen at the sight… There are people. And not just a few. Rows of people filing in to grab a seat… To see _them._

Connor starts approaching them. “What is it? Katarina called me over.” Zoe grabs his arm and points towards the bleachers. “That… That’s a crowd.” He breaks out in a huge grin. “We have a crowd!” In his excitement, he wraps Zoe in a hug, much to her shock but she reciprocates. The siblings turn to their father who is trying to blink away tears from his eyes before wrapping his arms around them.

Evan watches this scene, his heart swelling with happiness. It must’ve been so long since they had seen this many people ready to watch them. After a while, Connor peels away from his family and turns his attention to Evan. He practically lifts him off the ground as he rushes to hug him too, earning a surprised gasp from Evan. “Thank you,” he whispers, his breath grazing the shell of Evan’s ear.

Evan shudders at the sensation, feeling his face burn hotly as he realizes how close they’re pressed together. His hands are pinned between his chest and Connor’s, while one of Connor’s hands is placed at the small of his back and the other on his nape. Sure, it’s not the first hug they’ve shared but… there’s something more meaningful this time. It makes Evan's skin tingle and his head spin in the best way possible.

Even though he wants to hold on longer, he pulls away and stammers, “We should probably make sure everyone is ready then. Can’t keep the audience waiting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The curtains will rise in the next chapter :D


	16. Step into the Spotlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The curtains rise for the Greatest Show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, it's been a rough couple of weeks for me so this is the last chapter I had written out. It might be a bit until I get the next one out but for now I hope you guys enjoy this one

On the stage, the lights begin to dim until it’s completely dark, silencing the audience. Soft music starts to play and a single spotlight shines onto Larry who is standing still as he looks down at the ground. “You stumble through your days. Got your head hung low. Your skies are a shade of grey. Like a zombie in a maze, you're asleep inside but you can shake awake.” He spins his cane and the light starts to spread slowly around him. The sound of people snapping becomes prominent but the audience can’t see where it’s coming from yet. “'Cause you're just a dead man walking. Think of that your only option but you can flip the switch and brighten up your darkest day. Sun is up and the color's blinding. Take the world and redefine it. Leave behind your narrow mind. You'll never be the same!”

Spotlights start to flash on the members one by one, gradually revealing their true identities. “Come alive, come alive. Go and ride your light. Let it burn so bright. Reaching up to the sky and it's open wide. You're electrified. When the world becomes a fantasy and you're more than you could ever be, 'cause you're dreaming with your eyes wide open. And you know you can't go back again to the world that you were living in, 'cause you're dreaming with your eyes wide open. So, come alive!”

Now that light has completely flooded the stage, Evan braces himself for the impending screaming and booing but all he can hear so far are some gasps and murmuring. Some people are covering their mouths in dismay but some of them are observing in fascination.

Evan gulps as it finally hits him that all those eyes were on him. He glances over at Nadine who is nervously shifting under everyone’s gaze. Evan gives her a strained yet reassuring smile before starting his verse. “I see it in your eyes. You believe that lie that you need to hide your face. Afraid to step outside so you lock the door but don't you stay that way.”

Alana jumps in, “No more living in those shadows. You and me, we know how that goes.”

Jared joins, “’Cause once you see it, oh you'll never, never be the same!”

Everyone starts harmonizing, “We'll be the light that's turning. Bottle up and keep on shining. You can prove there's more to you. You cannot be afraid.”

Ezra comes riding into the arena with a torch at hand and some of the audience members holler in response. He takes a lap around the perimeter on a white stallion before going to Titus to light his baton which is the cue for the choreography to start. “Come alive, come alive. Go and ride your light. Let it burn so bright. “Reach it up to the sky and it's open wide. You're electrified.” Zoe and Connor descend from their respective trapeze hoop to join the rest of the group for the routine. “When the world becomes a fantasy and you're more than you could ever be, 'cause you're dreaming with your eyes wide open. And we know, we can't go back again to the world that we were living in 'cause we're dreaming with our eyes wide open.” They clap in tandem as they cheer, “Come one! Come all! Come in! Come on!”

Nadine looks around in disbelief to see people clapping along with them. She sings, “To anyone who's bursting with a dream.”

“Come one! Come all! You hear! The call!”

“To anyone who's searching for a way, to break free,” Evan belts.

“So come alive!” They circle around Larry and strike a pose to conclude the act. There’s a pause before the audience erupts in applause and cheers. All of the circus members feel overwhelmed by all the attention they’re receiving but they can’t wipe off the grins from their faces. After years of being the outcasts and the unwanted, they found a place where they were being accepted.

Larry steps onto his pedestal and announces, “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Murphy Circus! It is our pleasure to bring you into our world of curiosity! I am proud to present to all of you our unique and courageous new members who will continue to mystify you throughout the night! For our first act, please give a warm welcome to the Porcelain Dolls.”

Everyone starts to make their way backstage, wishing Jonavy and Gale luck as they leave. They wanted to start off the performance elegantly and tranquil to ease the audience into things. The twins insisted on performing to Vivaldi’s winter segment of the Four Seasons since it was their favorite. The audience is mesmerized at how effortless they make every pirouette and plie appear. Almost as if they were watching two snowflakes drift in the air.

As they transition into the next act, Jared wheels out a small box decorated in vines. He opens the lid and Alana’s head pops out making the audience gasp. Slowly, Alana untangles her body until she’s standing up completely. Jared helps her step out before returning backstage to allow her to do her solo. Part of her wishes she could have stayed inside the box when she sees people whispering to each other, presumably about her. However, she powers through, slapping on that overly cheery smile that she’s mastered. With every unusual twist and daring motion of her body, her confidence is bolstered at the audience’s thrilled reaction.

After she wraps her act up, it is Mason’s turn to perform. There are some giggles and people pointing at him, but he’s learned to deal with that. He decides to start off basically by juggling some apples. As he juggles the fruit, he takes a bite out of each of them until he’s reached their core. He then ups the ante when he starts to juggle knives while balancing a pin on his head, much to the spectators’ horror.

Following Mason, it was Ezra’s turn as he guides his pig, Hamlet, and dog, Betsy, onto the stage. The members “awe” at the sight of them as the critters obediently follow Ezra in a line. He motions for Betsy and she starts jumping the hurdles they had set up for her. While she’s completing her course, Hamlet is pushing a small wine barrel with his snout. Ezra holds out a hoop for Betsy and she eagerly jumps through it. He whistles to Hamlet who abandons the barrel and starts weaving through a series of small flag posts until he reaches a bell and rings it.

Lorelei and Titus are the penultimate act as they step onto the stage dressed in formal attire; a black ball gown and tuxedo, respectively. At first, classical music starts playing as they waltz around the arena. Soon the music spikes and Lorelei removes the skirt of her gown to reveal a burlesque dress underneath. A few of the women are a bit scandalized by her provocative wardrobe change, although, it’s probably more because their husbands aren’t complaining much to their annoyance. While Titus removes his bow tie, vest, and shirt, Lorelei prowls around him with a lance. He grabs his baton and they recreate their fight once again, ending the performance with Titus lodging the lance down her throat. The audience shriek in worry, thinking that they indeed witnessed a murder. However, Lorelei stops teasing them and waves at them before removing the object from her throat.

The grand finale is Zoe and Connor, as per usual. They do their normal routine but as Evan observes from behind the curtain, he can see the grin on Connor’s face. All the times he’s watched him perform, Connor always had a face of focus and stoicism but right now, it looks like he’s genuinely enjoying himself.

Once they finish, Larry steps out to the stage and summons everyone to join him. Once everyone is there, they interlace their hands together and take a bow. The audience gets up on their feet to give them a standing ovation, their cheers reverberating throughout the air. The children are particularly enthusiastic as they point out their favorite acts. “Thank you, ladies and gentleman! We hope to see you all back soon,” Larry announces.

As people start making their way out of the exit, the troupe members hug each other in celebration. “Listen up, everyone! You all did amazing and you should be proud of yourselves,” Larry congratulates.

“Larry?” He turns around to see Cynthia approaching the stage and he goes to her.

“Cynthia? I didn’t know you were here... I thought you weren’t going to come.”

“I wasn’t at first. I just thought… I didn’t deserve to be here anymore,” she admits bleakly.

Larry puts his hands on her shoulders. “Honey, why would you think that?”

Her eyes start to water. “Because I gave up when I promised to support you… Right or wrong, remember?”

Larry hugs his wife comfortingly. “You did support me until I started pushing you and the kids away. Until I started hiding things from you because of my ego and shame. It wasn’t your fault…” She clutches onto him, sniffling into his chest. “All we can do now is move forward together.”

She nods her head a hopeful smile on her face. “Okay…”

While everyone starts heading backstage to celebrate, Evan hears someone call out his name. As he turns around, he suddenly feels someone rushing to wrap their arms around his waist. Evan lets out small _oof_ before looking down to see Liam squeezing him tightly.

“Liam, I told you to just say 'hi',” Abel reprimands.

“It’s okay, Abel,” Evan chuckles. “What are you guys doing here?”

“We wanted to see you! We saw the posters with a picture of a dryad and we knew it was about you,” Liam explains excitedly. “We shined shoes so that we could buy our tickets!”

Evan scruffs his shaggy brown hair. “Well, I’m glad you guys were able to make it.”

“Hi, there,” Connor greets. “Who are you two?”

“I’m Liam! That’s my brother Abel,” he presents happily.

Connor smiles at him. “Nice to meet you guys. I’m Connor.”

“Nice to meet you too. You guys were amazing,” Abel compliments.

“Amazing? They were incredible! Did you see how high up he was?” Liam gushes.

“Seems like we found our number one fan,” Connor praises.

“You can say that again.” Evan turns to them. “Actually, you guys were the ones who inspired me to share my secret. If it weren’t for you, none of this would’ve been possible.”

Liam beams widely, “Really?”

“Mhmm,” he confirms.

“So if it was because of us, can we get some sort of compensation,” Abel asks jokingly.

“Abel,” he reproaches.

“I’m just kidding,” he giggles, slinging an arm around his brother’s shoulder.

“Although, I do think it’s only fair for our number one fans to get some award.” Connor kneels down to Liam. “How about from now on, you guys can come to our show whenever you want free of charge?”

The boys’ eyes widen. “Wait, I really was just kidding. You guys don’t have to do that for us.”

Connor shrugs, “We don’t mind. And like Evan said, all of this was possible because of you guys too.”

Liam gasps in excitement, “Thank you!” He wraps his arm around Connor’s neck in a hug.

“Yeah, thank you, guys!”

“It’s our pleasure. Now, do you guys want to meet the rest of the gang?” Evan proposes.

“Can we, Abel, can we?” he begs, tugging his coat sleeve.

“I wish we could, buddy, but you know we have to get back soon.” Liam starts to whine but Abel reminds, “It’s almost curfew.”

“Fine,” he pouts. “Sorry we can’t stay, Evan.”

“Don’t worry about it. We’ll do this some other time. The door is always open for you guys,” Evan ensures.

The boys smile brightly and say their goodbyes before heading toward the front. Connor turns to Evan who has tears forming in his eyes. He puts his hand on his shoulder. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

A smile forms on Evan’s lips. “Nothing… These are happy tears,” he laughs tearfully. “I just can’t believe we actually did it.”

“Neither can I.” Connor reaches his out hand to wipe a tear rolling down his cheek. His thumb lingers on Evan’s face making his eyes flutter a bit. “Seems more like a dream…”

They stare into each other’s eyes, the air around them suddenly feeling charged. Evan swallows, “Y-yeah, it does…” He’s not sure if his vision is just tunneling or if Connor’s face is actually getting closer to his—

_Pop!_

Connor and Evan jump back a bit as they hear a wave of giggles and cheers coming from backstage. Jared pokes his head from behind the curtain. “Hey! Lorelei brought some bubbly! You two better hurry up if you wanna grab some!”

“Be right there,” Evan pipes up abashedly

Jared retreats back, leaving the flustered boys again. Connor nervously scratches his scalp. “We should, uh, join them. I think we’ve earned a drink,” he concludes with a shy smile.

Evan nods, feeling a little light-headed. They silently head back, both knowing that whatever has been blooming between them is getting painfully harder to ignore…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I'm basically blue-balling myself at this point too X3


	17. No Strangers to the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With growing popularity, the Circus encounters criticism

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies, I'm back. This chapter is kind of a filler but it helped me dislodge my writer's block so updates will be a little more consistent

As Evan combs his hair, he hears a small knock on his bedroom door. “Come in.”

Heidi steps inside with a somewhat forced smile. “Hey, hon… Do you gotta minute?”

“Um, yeah, but I’m heading over to Jared’s in a bit."

He notices her smile falter a bit. “Right… You two have been spending a lot of time lately. I, uh, didn’t even hear when you came in last night.”

Evan nervously glances down at the floor. “Yeah, sorry about that. Time just got away from us, I guess.” Which wasn’t a total lie, considering rehearsals ran longer than expected since they’ve been coming up with new songs and routines.

“It’s not the first time it has. It happened a few nights ago too... And last week,” she points out. He watches Heidi fiddle with her apron a bit. “You know you can talk to me right,” she tries. “If something is going on with you, you can tell me. I am your mother after all.” Her blue eyes almost begging for her son to reach out to her.

“Mom, I’m fine. Everything is fine,” he swears. Actually, things have been better than fine. After their first show, time seemed to fly by as days turned into weeks. A show per week turned into two as more people showed up, eager to watch the world they created.

“And I’m glad to hear that, sweetheart. It’s just I feel like you’ve been a little distant lately.”

Evan curls in defensively at her saddened tone. “It’s not like I’m doing it on purpose or anything. I’ve just been doing my own thing. Trying to live my own life and all,” he explains vaguely.

She seems disappointed by his answer but she decides to drop the subject. “Yeah… I know. Just let me know next time you think you’ll be out late or if you spend the night over, alright?”

He nods feeling shame wash over him as he continues to lie to her. “Alright.” He slips on his coat. “I need to get going… I’ll try to be back earlier tonight.”

“Okay…” She gives him a chaste hug before he heads out of his room. Before he can make it out the front door, his mother calls out to him, “Evan, you almost forgot this!” He turns to see her holding out his scarf, her face contorted with worry.

Evan takes it hesitantly from her. He’s gotten so used to not wearing it for shows or rehearsals, it completely slipped his mind. “Um, thanks... See ya.”

-

Inside the big top, Evan is sat next to Connor in the front row, confiding his worries to him. “My mom is starting to get suspicious about what I’ve been up to. She was asking me a bunch of questions today and I didn’t know what to tell her…”

Connor crosses his arms, pondering Evan’s dilemma. “Well, I’m the least indicated about giving advice about communication with parents but maybe it’s time to tell her the truth. I mean what’s the worst that can happen?”

Evan looks down solemnly and murmurs, “What if she hates me for lying to her and exposing my secret?” His breathing becomes haggard as the worst case scenarios fill his head. “What if she keeps me from performing? What if I never get to see you again—“

“Hey, hey,” Connor hushes him by gently squeezing his knee. “Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best question to ask. Look… I don’t think your mom would do any of that and if you don’t want to tell her about it yet that’s okay. But you’re gonna have to someday and when you do I’ll be there for you no matter what.”

The panicked boy takes a deep breath to calm himself. He finally meets Connor’s eyes with a weary smile. “I know you will…” Evan looks toward the stage to see everyone practicing or chatting amongst themselves. “I just don’t want to risk losing all of this...”

“You won’t,” he says with a comforting smile.

Larry walks out from backstage with Katarina following behind. “Everyone, can you gather on the bleachers? We have matters to attend to!” All heads turn to him in confusion but they start making their way toward the benches. Once everyone is seated, Larry unfolds the newspaper that was tucked under his arm and shows them the headline: MURPHY CIRCUS, MYSTIFYING OR MORBID? “Seems like we got our first critic,” he huffs.

Connor takes the paper from his father and reads it for himself with furrowed eyebrows. After he’s read enough, he hands it back dismissively. “More like a self-righteous asshat, if you ask me,” he tuts.

“What are they saying about us,” Nadine asks nervously.

“Nothing that warrants me repeating,” Larry tries to convince.

“No offense, Larry, but I don’t think there’s a need to shelter us,” Ezra contests as he timidly scratches his greying beard. “I mean, I’m sure we’ve all heard worse before…”

Everyone nods in agreement wanting to know what they are being criticized for. “Come on let’s hear it,” Jared persuades.

Larry reluctantly agrees and bitterly recites, “’Last week I had the pleasure, or perhaps more like the displeasure, of attending a performance at the Murphy Circus. After years of dormancy and destitution, the big top has recently refurbished its image and has garnered newly found attention. However, it seems to have done so by promoting people of a certain undesirable caliber. Mr. Murphy and his troupe may be able to fool their audience with all their shiny bells and whistles. Yet in my opinion, these so-called ‘curiosities’ are nothing more than living caricatures that endorse and glorify indecency. The good people of this town should not be exposed to this band of hoodlums’… I think you guys get the gist of it.”  Larry somberly closes the paper and there’s a palpable tension in the air.

Evan knew this was bound to happen sooner or later but it doesn’t soften the blow.

The silence is broken by Mason’s nasally voice. “Wow… I’ve never been insulted in such an articulate way,” he remarks wittily. “I don’t know about you guys but I have to say I’m quite honored. I’d rather be referred to as a hoodlum instead of poultry.” The comment catches everyone off guard but a wave of giggles tears through the awkwardness.

Now that the mood lightens a bit more Larry continues. “I’m glad you guys aren’t taking his comments to heart. Still, I thought it was best to call this meeting to get your thoughts on how we can handle this situation. It might not be the harshest criticism we’ll face but the seed has been planted and we have to prepare to push back.” He glances at Zoe and Connor with a faint smile. “I don’t plan on repeating old mistakes so I’m open to hear anyone's suggestions.”

After a while of soft muttering, Gale is the first to chime in on the matter. “Well, our dad used to say whoever is the loudest always win.”

“Which is why I usually won,” Jonavy comments, lightly jabbing his rib with her elbow.

“As I was saying,” he laughs, “if this snob wants to keep writing about us, we should beat him at his own game. He writes a half-page review, we take out a full-page advertisement next to it.”

“We might actually be able to do that,” Larry agrees. “I have a friend at the gazette who could arrange that.” Katarina writes the suggestion down on her trusty notepad.

“Ooh, ooh! What about vouchers,” Lorelei asks enthusiastically. “At the Primrose we would give them out to our regulars to get free drinks the following week.”

“Sounds promising but we should probably hold back on the alcohol. I think a free pouch of peanuts is a good start,” he compromises with a chuckle. “So, anything else someone would like to add?”

Evan clears his dry throat before proposing, “Um, maybe we could do discounts for children?” He gives Connor a side-glance, who in turn gives him an approving nod. “More kids means more families coming to watch the show, right?”

Larry hums rubbing his chin, “I think that’s a reasonable trade-off we can afford now.”

Evan lets out a sigh, relieved that he hadn’t overstepped and Connor can’t help smiling at the shy boy who’s come so far since they met.

“Dad, this isn’t my idea but Alana was telling me something that might help out too,” Zoe exclaims.

Alana’s eyes widen and she straightens her posture. “A-actually, Mr. Murphy, it’s kind of a longshot. I don’t know how realistic it would be.”

“No need to worry about that right now, Alana. We’re just here to share ideas that’s all,” he encourages.

She pushes her glasses up and nods worriedly. “Okay… One of my mom’s acquaintances, she works as a nanny for Mrs. Renee Whitlock: …the, uh, governor’s daughter.” At the mention of this, everyone starts to chatter excitedly with each other. Once everyone’s calmed a bit, Alana resumes, “I don’t know how helpful this would be but maybe I could get her to put in a good word for us.”

“Wouldn’t it be the biggest ‘fuck you’ to the critics if we got someone as uppity as her to make it to a show.”

“Language, Zoe… but I agree that would make them shove it. If it’s possible that you can get her to come, it could make a huge difference.”

“But,” Zoe contends, “don’t feel pressured to get results. We’d be grateful to you for trying either way.”

Alana grins happily, feeling a surge of motivation. “I’ll try my best. I promise!”

“And that’s all we can ask from any of you… Before we wrap this meeting up, I just want to thank all of you again... You gave this place a new lease on life."

Nadine coyly raises her hand. “Um, there’s something I’d like to say. If that’s alright with everyone.”

“Of course it is,” Larry assures.

She tugs a strand of hair anxiously. “I want to thank everyone too. For… for making this place feel like a home,” she concludes. Her squeaky voice is small but her words resonate with everyone.

“Amen,” Mason hoots causing the rest to follow.

Larry smiles warm-heartedly at the small group of people. “Well, I appreciate the sentiment.” He looks down at the newspaper and crumples it into a ball. “Now, let’s get back to work.”


	18. The Talk of the Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A special guest comes to the circus that opens up a new window of opportunity

Alana was usually the first one to show up for rehearsals, sometimes even before the Murphys. The main reason being that ever since the auditions, she swore that she’d never be late again. So when she comes bursting through the main entrance half an hour late, it is a bit surprising, to say the least. However, the most surprising thing is what she abruptly announces as she steps into the arena. “She’s coming!” Everyone stops what they’re doing, baffled by Alana’s outburst. “Sorry, I should probably clarify. Mrs. Whitlock, she’s coming to our show tomorrow night.”

There’s a brief moment of confusion as the news starts setting in but it’s quickly replaced by enthusiastic energy.

“Are you serious?” Evan questions in astonishment.

“Yes! Talia, my mom’s acquaintance that is, came into the shop today and told us the news that Mrs. Whitlock is coming to watch the show with her daughter!”

With that confirmation, there’s a surge of cheers and excited squeals throughout the group.

“That’s amazing, Alana! I knew you could do this,” Zoe praises.

“Alright, alright, everyone settle down,” Larry quiets with a huge grin on his face. “Thank you, Alana, for the wonderful news. We’ll have plenty of time later to celebrate but right now our focus has to be to make sure this show is perfect!”

-

The following night, there’s a buzz of anticipation backstage as everyone awaits Renee Whitlock’s arrival. Jonavy and Nadine, in particular, have been peeking through the curtain every five minutes to find her in the crowd.

“Do you think that’s her in the big hat, Jo?” Nadine asks quizzically.

“I don’t think so, she seems too old to be her.” This is further cemented as the woman sits further back from the front row seats reserved next to Liam and Abel.

“Guys, don’t get your hopes up that you’ll see her right now,” Connor warns. “You’ll have a better chance of catching her while we perform.”

“Sheesh, way to be a buzzkill,” Zoe berates as she finishes taping her hands up.

“Hey, you of all people know blue-bloods pride themselves on being fashionably late,” he defends.

“That is if she even comes,” Jared points out. “Or if she’s not in disguise. Am I wrong to be a bit skeptical that someone as classy as her would want to be caught here?”

“Jared,” Evan groans in annoyance.

“But what if he’s right and I just got everyone’s hope up,” Alana worries.

“Then we put on a show like normal,” Connor assures nonchalantly. “I mean it’s not the end of the world if one person doesn’t show up.”

Jonavy and Nadine suddenly gasp out eagerly and Zoe goes over to confirm what they’re seeing. “Maybe it wouldn’t be but it sure helps.”

Everyone scrambles to see what’s going on beyond the fabric. They watch as Cynthia directs a young woman holding a little girl’s hand and a tan, middle-aged woman to their seats. From the reactions and whispers of the surrounding people, it’s easy to infer that who they’re staring at is indeed Mrs. Whitlock. Before they sit down, she motions for Talia to set a quilt down on the bench. Once seated, she smooths the wrinkles from her red plaid skirt and fusses with the bow on her daughter’s dress, much to her displeasure.

Connor rolls his eyes at her pompousness. “Oh, this should be fun,” he sarcastically comments.

“Can you really blame her though? I bet their clothes are worth more than all of our paychecks combined,” Jared surmises.

Evan watches as Liam cheerily waves at the ladies and they politely wave back. The little boy seems to take this as an invitation to talk to Mrs. Whitlock’s daughter, which she seemingly doesn’t mind. “They seem nice though,” he states observing Abel graciously offering the girl some peanuts.

“For our sake, I hope so,” Larry remarks from behind. “We have to make sure that by the end of the night she only has nice things say about us. So come on, everyone, get into position!”

-

Throughout the performance, the cast is trying its best to remain focused but is simultaneously gauging Mrs. Whitlock’s reaction. At first, she appears a little stoic as if she’s trying to maintain her elegant poise. However, as the pace of the show picks up, she lets her composure fall and gives into the excitement. By the time everyone gives their bows, she’s joining the rest of the audience in giving them a standing ovation.

“Thank you, everyone, for coming! And a special thanks to Mrs. Renee Whitlock for gracing us with her time!” Larry broadcasts which earns an extra round of applause and a flattered smile from the honey-blonde woman.

As they all start to make their way to the backstage Connor remarks with a laugh, “Way to be subtle with that announcement.”

Larry winks at him, “Just in case somebody from the newspaper happened to miss that she was here.”

“Excuse me, Mr. Murphy,” someone calls out. They turn around to see Talia sauntering toward them hurriedly. “Hello, I’m sorry for holding you up but Mrs. Whitlock would like to have a word. If that’s alright with you?”

Larry’s eyes widen as he looks past Talia shoulder to see Mrs. Whitlock chattering with Cynthia. He quickly composes himself and answers, “Of course, it would be an honor!” As they walk towards the bleachers, he looks back at Zoe and Connor who give him a thumbs up.

As they approach, the benches Mrs. Whitlock and her daughter stand up to greet him and Cynthia joins Larry’s side. The fine woman holds her hand out and he gingerly shakes it. “Good evening, Mr. Murphy. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“The pleasure is all mine, Mrs. Whitlock.”

“Please, call me Renee.” She pets the girl’s head dotingly. “And this is my daughter Montaine.”

“Nice to meet you, Sir,” she greets.

“It’s nice to meet you as well. I hope you two enjoyed the show.”

“I was just telling your wife how magnificent everything was."

“It was beautiful,” Montaine compliments.

“Well, I’m glad our hard work paid off,” he laughs.

“Mr. Murphy would it be too much to ask if Montaine could go backstage and meet everyone? The little boys next to us were telling her all about your members and she got so excited.”

“Not at all. My assistant would be glad to escort you two backstage.”

“Actually, Talia would be the one supervising. I have matters I’d like to discuss with you.”

-

Backstage, Montaine is giggling as Ezra demonstrates some tricks he taught Hamlet. “Now this one, I like to call ‘the sausage roll’.” He gives a little whistle and waves his finger in a clockwise motion. The chubby pig rolls over like a log and the girl happily claps for him.

“Voila, you are all done,” Lorelei announces, handing her a mirror. Montaine beams as she sees small daisies weaved into her golden tresses. “Hair fit for a princess!”

“Thank you,” she chirps.

“Montaine, time to go,” Renee says as Larry parts the curtain for her and Cynthia.

“Awe,” her daughter pouts.

“Don’t make a fuss. We’ll come back another time,” she promises.

“Come on, Monty.” Talia grabs her hand as she hops off the stool. “Say goodbye to everyone.”

“Buh-bye!”

“Goodnight everyone! Thank you all for the wonderful time,” Renee bids farewell.

Once the ladies exit, everyone starts bombarding Larry with questions. “Woah, woah! One at a time, guys,” he chuckles.

“What did you guys talk about,” Connor asks.

“Mrs. Whitlock had a proposition for us. She was telling me that next month, her father will be in town for his birthday. So, she was wondering if we could host a private show for him and their guests.”

Everyone hollers in delight and embrace each other at the news, even more than when they found out Mrs. Whitlock was coming.

“Just to be clear and to make sure we’re _not_ dreaming. The governor is coming _here_ to watch _us_ ,” Jared presses.

“As of now, that’s the plan,” Larry assures.

“Woo! Suck on that critics,” Mason cheers.

“Hell yeah! I think it’s fair to say we deserve to celebrate now,” Gale proposes elatedly.

“Oh, yes, yes! We absolutely must,” Lorelei agrees.

“You're right. You guys should go have fun.” Larry smiles, “You’ve all earned it.”


	19. The Sharpest Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circus members go out to celebrate their run of good luck but are met with adversaries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof this chapter was a roller coaster to write (─.─||)! Chapter warning for brief use of misogynistic, racist and homophobic language. There’s also underage drinking but technically it’s period appropriate.

After they all get out of costume, they eagerly make their way to the bar, minus Larry and Cynthia who decided to call it a night. They step into the dimly lit tavern, the smell of spilled ale and tobacco permeating the air. There’s a few people at the bar counter and a small group in the corner table playing poker. They watch them intently as the troupe walks across the creaky, wooden floor but eventually everyone goes back to their own business, seemingly placated by the alcohol. Seeing that they’re not going to be driven out, Lorelei orders a round of beer as they each find a seat.

The bartender brings over the frothy mugs and Mason raises his up high. “To notoriety,” he toasts, earning a hoot from everyone.

At their table, Connor watches Evan raise the cup to his lips and take a gulp. He tries to suppress his laughter as the boy’s face contorts in disgust. “Not your poison, huh?

Evan shakes his head. “I guess not. I just thought it would be better.”

“So, you’ve never had beer before?” Zoe wonders.

“Not exactly. I thought I had once.”

“What do you mean ‘thought’?” Alana asks.

“It was for Jared’s bar mitzvah and to be fair it wasn’t just me who fell for it,” Evan clarifies.

“Oh yeah! I forgot about that! One of my older cousins snuck us some ‘beer’ during the party. Turns out it was just really stale apple cider,” Jared retells.

“And what we thought was a hangover the next day was just food poisoning,” Evan laughs.

“But hey, the real thing might not taste any better and the result might be the same as the cider but at least this time we’ll feel the buzz,” he asserts optimistically.

“I’ll cheer to that,” Zoe says, clinking her mug with his and everyone subsequently does the same.

The night continues with endless laughter and rising alcohol levels. The dull tavern is now filled with parlor music that Alana is playing on the piano and Nadine and Ezra’s voices as they sing along. Lorelei cheerfully taps her heels on the wooden boards as she plucks some of the patrons to dance with each other before going back to Titus.

Seeing this, Zoe stands up and offers her hand to Evan. “Care to dance?”

His cheeks turn red but she can’t tell if it’s out of embarrassment or the glasses of beer he’s had. “I— Yeah, of course,” he stammers.

As Zoe pulls him onto the dance floor, Connor feels that familiar twisting in his stomach. He tries to be indifferent; to simply watch the rest of his friends dancing instead of them. Still, all he manages to focus on is his best friend twirling and laughing with his little sister and it’s eating at him like a termite.

He chugs the rest of his drink.

“You know here’s an idea. How about _we_ dance together,” Jared quips as he plops down with his refilled mug. “I’m sure that’ll make him jealous.”

“Shut up, Kleinman,” Connor mumbles.

“Fine, fine, not my best idea. Oh, I know! You could always just ask him to dance too. I mean I’d pay to see some drunken sibling rivalry.”

“Would you look at that, I’m all out,” Connor indicates to his empty glass.

Before he can get up, Jared groans, “Come on, don’t be like that. Look if it makes you feel better, I’m sure Zoe would never date Evan.”

Connor rolls his eyes in disbelief. “Yeah, right,” he huffs. _Why wouldn’t she date Evan? He’s kind and talented and patient and… he’s perfect. The same goes for Zoe, considering everyone knows she’s the better of the two of us. I wouldn’t even blame them if they wanted to be together but… the idea still fucking hurts._

“Please, Zoe’s not blind and she’s definitely a good enough sister to know not to steal him away from you.”

Connor stays silent as he glances back at Zoe and Evan happily hopping around. “Can’t steal what’s not yours,” he murmurs with a frown.

Jared gets up from his seat, “Welp, then I suggest you make him yours.” He gives his shoulder a firm smack before sauntering off to ask Jonavy for a turn to dance.

Connor sighs heavily and goes to get another drink. He bums a cigarette from someone at the bar and the bartender slides a new mug over. As he lights his cigarette, he feels someone tap his shoulder. He turns to his head to see Evan beaming at him, his forehead coated in a sheen of sweat.

“Here you are! I was wondering where you went,” he giggles breathlessly.

Connor flicks ash into the brass tray on the counter as he exhales a plume of smoke. “Here I am…,” he hums. “Shouldn’t you be with Zoe? Looks like you two were having a good time.” He realizes that sounded a lot harsher than he intended, although, Evan didn’t seem to notice.

“Oh, she’s dancing with Gale right now! That’s why I came looking for you so you could come dance too,” he proposes giddily.

Connor notes the way Evan is swaying slightly and realizes that he’s viewing everything through rose-tinted glasses, at the moment. He tilts his head and fondly smiles at the inebriated boy. “Well, I appreciate the offer but… I’m sure you’ll have more fun without me.”

Evan lightly smacks his forearm. “Pfft, what are you talking about? You’re the funnest person I know!” He lays his chin on his fist as he leans against the counter. “Come oonnn! Come dance,” he pleads.

Connor chuckles at his drunken persistence and knows he can’t say no to him. He drops the remainder of his cigarette into the ashtray and nods his head. “Alright, I’ll go,” he yields, rolling up his sleeves.

He grins brightly and tugs on Connor’s bony wrist to lead him toward the dancing crowd. Lorelei sees them approaching and shouts tipsily, “Connor, darling, so glad you could make it! You don’t mind if I borrow him right, Evan?”

Before he can answer, she practically yanks the dismayed boy away. Connor looks back to see Evan give him an amused shrug before being swept away himself. Despite basically being kidnapped, Connor is enjoying the bubbly atmosphere as everyone claps and do-si-dos around the room. Eventually, he locks elbows with Zoe and she grins at him. “I’ll be damned! Is my big brother actually enjoying himself in public?”

He spins her around before answering, “Well… It took some convincing.” He looks over at Evan, who’s waltzing with Nadine at the moment.

“Probably, not that much though,” she chuckles lightly. “He kinda has you wrapped around his finger.”

“Haha, funny,” he scoffs.

“You know it’s true but… it’s not like it’s a bad thing.” She gently touches his bicep. “I’m glad he makes you happy.”

He doesn’t expect her caring words but he appreciates them regardless. “Thanks, Zo…”

She locks her elbow with his again in preparation for another transfer.  “Which is why, I’m doing you this favor,” she smirks.

Before he can ask what she means by that, she swings him around and lets him go. As his body lurches forward, his inertia is stopped when he collides into another body. Once he regains the wind knocked out of him, he looks down to see Evan laughing into his chest.

He looks up at Connor with a dopey smile. “Oh, hi again! I, uh, guess it’s our turn, huh.”

Connor’s cheeks turn rosy and he snorts awkwardly, “I guess so.” He clasps his hand with Evan’s, slowly guiding him to the rhythm of the spunky music. With every spin, slide, and synchronized tap of their feet, it feels like they’re the only people in the room. By the time Alana wraps up the last few notes of the song, the two boys are left giggling between pants.

Evan clutches onto Connor’s shoulders to keep himself balanced, still gasping for air. “That was great!”

 _You’re great…_ The words are burning on his lip but before Connor can say anything he’s interrupted by the sound of rowdy cackles pouring through the door.

The next thing they hear is someone shout, “Who the hell let the circus loose?”

Everyone’s heads turn to the source and they see a group of men filing inside. At the head of the group, Evan and Connor recognize two of the men as the Weller twins. The stouter one laughs, “Must’ve forgotten to lock the cages.” This causes an obnoxious uproar with their friends much to the irritation of the troupe.

The bartender addresses the twins. “Bert, Simon, behave. Everyone here’s a paying customer, so mind your own and keep things civil.”

“Tch, we’re very civil, right Bert,” the scrawny twin swears mockingly. “And because we’re civil people, we kindly request that next time the beasts decide to break out, they find some other establishment to go to.”

Connor clenches his jaw in anger. “Well, you can take your request and shove it up your asses. The circus had to deal with your unwanted presence, so how about exchanging the fucking courtesy,” he spits.

Mason and Jared try their best to hold their snickers while everyone else wears a stunned expression.

“Ooh, the flying fairy has a bark,” Simon taunts. “Maybe, they should keep you on a leash too, Murphy.” If Evan wasn’t gripping his wrist at the moment, Connor would’ve launched at his throat.

“Besides, don’t flatter yourselves. The only reason we went to that shithole is that it was cheaper than any whorehouse,” Bert defends. “Now all you got are freaks, negroes, and pansies.”

Connor watches as his friends’ faces fall at their cruelness and gives Evan’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

His greasy brother lecherously stares at Lorelei. “Well, it looks like they were able to keep one whore at least,” he sneers, winking at her.

With that, Titus starts charging toward him but the red-head halts him by splaying her hand on his chest. “Titus, don’t.”

“I won’t let him talk to you like that,” he hisses, frustrated at her intervention.

“I know…,” she says giving him a sympathetic smile.

“Best listen to your owner, pet,” one of the Wellers’ friends taunts.

Lorelei turns to face the group of smug men as poised as ever. “Oh, don’t be mistaken. There’s nothing more I’d like than to have him wipe your hideously crooked smiles off. Unfortunately, you can’t hit those less fortunate than you. All you poor, ugly things have probably never been taught manners a day in your lives.”

The comment catches the men off guard and Simon snarls, “Who are you calling ‘less fortunate’, you bitch!”

“Alright, that’s enough,” the bartender yells. “Wellers, I suggest you and your friends leave!”

They’re about to protest but the other patrons agree with the bartender’s decision. Realizing they don’t have anyone’s support, they bitterly relent. “Fine, you prick! We’ll just go somewhere where it’s not infested with vermin. But you freaks better not forget your place or we’ll remind you where it is,” the tubby brother threatens.

“Well, tonight our place is here so we don’t need reminding, thanks,” Mason jeers. The men glare at him furiously but he simply gives them a shooing motion.

Once they all leave, the bartender clears his throat. “Sorry about that folks. Next rounds on the house.”

As everyone resumes their activities, Connor is suddenly aware of a vibrating sensation and realizes that it’s Evan trembling. “Hey, hey. Ev, are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine…” That’s a lie. He feels his heart pounding and his hands are getting clammy. “I just need to sit down for a bit.”

“Okay…” He leads the shaking boy and sits him down on the barstool. The bartender slides them a couple of whiskey shots and Evan downs his thinking it’ll calm his nerves. However, all it manages to do is cause a coughing fit as the burning liquid slides down his throat. Connor pats his back and chuckles a bit. “While I’m impressed by your enthusiasm, I don’t think that’s what you need right now.”

“Could’ve told me that sooner,” he rasps. Evan scrubs his face in exasperation, mulling over what just happened. As he looks over to his friends, he sees most of them have already recovered from the incident and are chatting together, enjoying their free drinks. However, Zoe and Alana are comforting an upset Nadine and Lorelei is calming a fuming Titus. “We knew something like this was bound to happen but… they don’t deserve to be treated that way. They’re good people…”

“They are… and so are you.” Connor rubs his shoulder soothingly. “That is why we’re going to get through anything… together.”

He smiles feebly at him. “I know…”

-

By closing time, Connor’s arm is tucked underneath Evan’s too keep him steady enough to walk through the icy streets. After some insistence from both Murphy siblings, the drunken boy agreed to stay the night over since he didn’t think he had the energy to make it to his house or Jared’s.

As they make their way into the house, they try to be as quiet as possible to not wake up Cynthia and Larry. Which is a bit of a challenging feat, since Evan is a giggling mess as Connor drags him up the stairs.

“Goodnight, you two. Be good,” Zoe whispers as she scurries away before her brother could retaliate.

“Night, Zoeeee,” Evan sings quietly.

Once they’re in the bedroom down the hall, he gently sits Evan on the edge of the bed. As he does so, his hair brushes against Evan’s flushed cheeks causing him to have another laughing fit. “That tickled,” he wheezes. Suddenly, he grabs ahold of a lock hair much to Connor’s surprise.

“Evan, what are you doing?” he asks amusedly.

Evan responds with a hum as he twirls the brunette strand around his finger, admiring how soft it feels against his skin. “I like your hair,” he admits matter-of-factly. “It’s nice…”

Connor gulps at his compliment, the tickling in his stomach growing to a burning flame. Since he’s towering over Evan as he sits, Connor’s hair curtains the frame of the smaller boy’s face, creating a small, intimate space between them. He cups his jaw and lowers his face until his lips are softly grazing Evan’s brow bone. He can hear Evan’s breath hitch as he runs his thumb along the rough skin of his jawline. Connor pulls away slightly to meet blue, wondering eyes waiting to see what he was going to do next. He is aware he’s treading a dangerous line as he stares at Evan’s smiling lips. He knows if he tilt’s the boys chin up, ever so slightly, he can brush his lips against his…

That fantasy is quickly squashed by the fear and guilt writhing in the recess of his mind. Instead, he grabs Evan’s hand and gently pulls it away from his hair, placing it on his lap. “Go to sleep, Evan…”

He blinks confusedly but eventually nods. He kicks his shoes off and lays down on Connor’s bed. “Where… are you going to sleep?”

Connor pulls the cover over him and fluffs his pillow. “Don’t worry about me. My window nook is comfy enough.”

“’Kay… Although, I wouldn’t care if you stayed with me…,” he yawns sleepily.

Connor sighs, brushing some sandy-blonde hair off his forehead. “You say that now but… you’ll feel differently tomorrow.”

“Nuh-uh…,” is the last thing he manages to murmur before drifting off to sleep.

“…Evan?” Realizing that he’s fast asleep, Connor sits on the edge of the bed with a heavy heart. He longingly caresses the sleeping boy’s cheek with the back of his hand. He leans down to whisper in his ear, “You know I have something to confess too… I like everything about you. I _like you_ more than you could possibly know. Which is something I’ve never felt before. I just figured I was broken because I’d never been interested in being with anyone… Until I met you …I know you probably will never feel the same way but… at least I was able to say it out loud.” He turns his head and delicately places a kiss on his cheek; the last gesture of affection he can allow himself to give. “Goodnight, Evan…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve always wanted to write a drunken Evan Hansen scene and I’ll be damned if he’s not a light-weight! Also, as a side note, I'm drawn to the idea that Connor could be demisexual so I wanted to explore that a bit in this chapter. (Just my personal headcanon don’t kill me XD.)


	20. They Won’t Break us Down to Dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Jared help Evan get prepared for the governor's party but their simple day becomes more complicated

Evan tugs at the uncomfortable collar of the pleated dress shirt he’s wearing. “What do you think about this one?” he asks Jared and Connor as he opens the door of the dressing room stall. His friends take a moment to analyze the pretentious garment.

“I don’t think it’s very… you,” Connor answers politically.

“I think what he means is, it makes you look like a freakin’ waiter,” Jared responds bluntly.

“Thanks for the input,” Evan says sarcastically. “I’ll just try something else then.”

“Quit your complaining, you’re lucky you can go tuxedo shopping. I have to get mine custom made. Quite prejudicial against hunchbacks if you ask me.”

“So remind us, why are you even here then?” Connor interrogates.

Jared shrugs, “What can I say, I like to judge. Plus I didn’t want to spend my day off cooped up in my house.”

“Well, how about you go entertain yourself by judging somewhere else for a while,” Connor suggests passive-aggressively.

“Sheesh, fine. I’ll go look at the expensive shoes that I’ll never be able to afford in this lifetime.”

Once Jared leaves to the other side of the store, Evan plops down on the cushioned bench. As he unfastens his ascot, he frustratingly sighs, “I didn’t think that shopping for a tuxedo would be this tough. I’ve only owned one suit in my life and my mom was the one who picked it out… five years ago.”

“Consider yourself lucky. My mom dragged us to every gala or cotillion she could so I practically went tux shopping every weekend,” he retells. “She figured I’d make more friends that way but she never realized those stuck-up brats didn’t want anything to do with the circus kid.”

“That sounds…shitty.”

Connor snorts a bit. “Ye _p_. I guess they just failed to see my irresistible charm.”

Evan smiles sheepishly. “Well… you were able to charm me at least.”

He smiles at him gratefully for a split-second before clearing his throat nervously. The blushing boy gives Evan’s shoulder a light shove. “Come on. Let’s keep looking.”

Evan obeys, a little reluctantly, as he stands back up to rummage through the racks again. Along with the private show, Mrs. Whitlock had invited all the members of the circus to her father’s dinner party afterward. Honestly, just performing for all those upper-class people seemed less daunting than actually _socializing_ with them. Needless to say, Evan wants to ensure he can make somewhat of a good impression.

After a while, one outfit catches Connor’s attention. He plucks the desired ensemble off the stand and flashes it toward Evan. “What about this one?”

He turns his head to see Connor holding a navy blue three-piece suit with a powder blue vest. “Woah…” Evan walks over to examine it further, running his fingers through the lavish fabric until he reaches the price tag pinned to it. “ _Woah_!” He draws back a bit as if he can’t even afford to touch it. “Um, definitely a little out of my budget.”

Connor clicks his tongue at him. “Are you still insisting on paying for it yourself? I already told you I’d have you covered.”

“I-I know but I couldn’t possibly ask you to pay for this,” he asserts bashfully.

“Why not? Evan… you’ve done so much for me and my family. Paying for this suit is the least I could do for you.”

Evan worries his bottom lip between his teeth, still unwilling to accept Connor’s generosity. Heidi has always told him they shouldn’t rely on others for favors and this is a hefty one.

“Alright, how about this? How about you try it on regardless?” Before Evan can begin to protest, Connor tries, “And if you’re not convinced by the time you come out of that dressing room, I’ll drop it.”

Evan stares at the tuxedo and then back at Connor who’s patiently waiting for his response. He hesitantly takes the clothes from his friend and agrees to his terms. He steps back into the stall as Connor sits down on the bench to wait for him.

After a few minutes, Connor calls out, “How’s it going in there?”

“It’s, um… good.” He steps out slowly to reveal the classy, form-fitting suit. “It’s actually better than good,” he admits. “What do you think?”

Connor swallows silently, trying to make sure he won’t drool at how handsome he looks. He stands up and walks toward him to adjust his crooked bowtie. “Now this suit… this suit screams, Evan Hansen,” he compliments reassuringly.

“Thanks…” he breathes, shuddering a bit as Connor runs his fingers over the black, satiny lapels of the jacket.

Connor notices his reaction and how sensitive he is to his touch… That familiar guilt starts creeping over him and he retracts his hands away from Evan stuffing them in his pants’ pocket. “Well, we had a deal and this is the clear winner, Hansen. So get your ass out of that suit so we can ring it up.”

“Fine, fine, you win,” he relents going back inside to change. Before he closes the door completely, he meekly says, “Connor… thanks again.”

Once he retreats, Connor exhales heavily not realizing he was basically holding his breath. He pushes his hair back, regret weighing on him for succumbing to temptation… even if it was for a moment.

Inside the cramped stall, Evan stares at himself in the mirror. A tinge of sadness fills his chest as he traces the fabric that Connor touched. He doesn’t know why but for the last couple of weeks he’s felt like something changed between them. Even if they still spend most of their time together and speak to each other like they normally do, Evan can’t shake the feeling that Connor has been distant. As if he’s on the edge of a precipice and he’s catching himself before he falls. Maybe he’s being paranoid, but the way Connor pulled away right now only solidified his fears. He feels selfish for wanting more attention from him even when he’s already given him so much. Yet he can’t stop himself from yearning the level of comfortableness they had already reached…

-

 “No fair,” Jared whines as they exit the store. “I wanted to help with the final judgment.”

“Tough,” Connor simply states.

“Don’t worry, you’ll see it the day of the governor’s party,” Evan assures.

The trio continue to walk down the cobbled street but come to a halt when they hear a familiar female voice yelling farther down the plaza, “Get off of him! Leave him alone!” Her pleas are met by cackles and cheers.

“That sounds like Jonavy,” Evan observes.

“Shit.” Connor starts booking it toward the commotion. When he arrives at the scene, he sees Mason being shoved around in a circle of people while Jonavy is desperately trying to reach him. Somebody pins his hands behind him while someone else starts punching him in the stomach.

Jonavy leaps onto the man holding Mason. “I said leave him alone!” He swerves around flinging her off of his back and she yelps in pain as she hits the floor. However, this is enough to distract the man away from Mason and for Connor to pull him away from the crowd.

Jared assists a wheezing Mason clutching at his stomach while Evan runs over to help Jonavy. In the meantime, Connor fends off one of the men by kneeing him in the gut and tossing him back with the rest of the mob. “That’s enough! You’ve had your circle jerk so how about you all fuck off,” Connor barks.

“Oh, come on, Murphy!” The Weller twins emerge clapping from behind the mob and Bert snickers, “They were just putting on a show with one of our local freaks! You do that all the time.”

“Stay out of this, Wellers. This is none of your business,” Connor warns.

“Actually, I think it’s all of our business,” Simon contests. “If your little monsters wanna prance around under the big top, that’s fine.”

“It’s actually kinda adorable,” his brother adds tauntingly.

“What is _not_ fine is having them scurry around, pretending like they’re one of us. You can’t blame the fine folk of this town if they don’t want to be subjected to their unsightliness.” The mob murmurs in agreement and some onlookers look intrigued. “Now if they can’t handle that then maybe they should go back to whatever hole you dragged them out of.” The crowd starts getting riled up again and Connor stands between them and his friends.

“Alright, alright. Break it up,” an officer orders calmly yet indifferently. “Everyone go back to your business. Nothing to see here.”

The crowd begrudgingly disperses but not before the twins throw them a pair of self-satisfied leers.

Connor looks around at the bystanders who are still whispering at their expense. One couple even escorts their daughter away, looking at them in fear as if they were the ones causing problems. He turns his attention back to his friends who are still in distress. “Are you two okay?”

“Peachy,” Mason coughs. “Almost lost my lunch there but I’ll live.” He worriedly looks over at Jonavy whose wiping sludge off her skirt. “Jo, I’m so sorry,” he says guiltily.

“Don’t be, I-I’m fine—“ she winces a bit as she tries to step forward.

“What’s wrong?” Evan asks concernedly.

Jonavy lifts her skirt a bit to reveal blood soaking through her stockings from a scrape on her knee. “Dammit,” she grits.

“Those bastards,” Jared huffs.

“Jo? What happened?”

She turns around to see a stunned Gale holding a basket of groceries. She quickly covers up her injury. “It’s nothing, I just tripped is all.”

“Right and it took three people to pick you up,” he challenges.

“It’s my fault, Gale,” Mason confesses. “I got into a fight with some guys and Jo was trying to help me.”

“You did what,” Gale asks angrily.

Jonavy defends, “They were hassling us first though!”

“Yeah, but I should’ve just dropped it… I may or may not told them that the circus had plenty of room for talking pigs,” he explains.

The pale boy furrows his eyebrows. “So you can’t keep your mouth shut and my sister gets hurt!”

“Hey, this isn't on him,” Connor intervenes sternly. “Let’s not turn on each other now. The only people to blame here are the assholes who started it.”

“Still, I think that from now on, it’s probably best to avoid confrontation,” Evan advises. “All they want is to get a rise from us so we shouldn’t encourage them.” They all nod their heads in understanding.

“Come on, Jo. Let’s go home.” Gale slings his arm around her waist to relieve some pressure on her injured leg. Before they leave Jonavy gives Mason a faint smile.

“I should probably get home too,” he mutters.

“I’ll walk with you,” Jared offers. “We should probably put a buddy system in place from now on anyways.”

Mason accepts this readily. “Thank you guys… for having our backs.”

The two depart and Evan glances over at Connor who’s sitting down on the street curve. “Connor, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just need to decompress. Still feel like punching someone’s face in at the moment.”

“I should probably stand back a bit then, huh,” Evan jokes.

“No, you’re good,” he chuckles. “Come sit with me for a bit…” He nods his head and joins him on the pavement. “How are you holding up?”

Evan tucks his knees in and picks at the lint of his trousers. “I want to believe you’re right. About how if we stick together we’ll be alright but… the way they gained up on Mason. The way they were getting other people to agree with them… I just have a bad feeling that something is going to go wrong, Connor.”

Connor stares at Evan’s solemn expression and all he wants to do is reach over and lace their hands together. His hand is practically itching for the contact but instead, he keeps it firmly on his own thigh. “I get that bad feeling too… Then I remember how far we’ve come; the packed stadium, the cheering crowds… our smiles as we perform. Those things remind me it’s all worth it…”

“I hope it is… I could never forgive myself if something worse happens,” Evan murmurs.

“Hey, don’t you dare beat yourself up over this. We all accepted the risk and we all have to deal with the consequences.”

Evan lets out a staggered sigh. “I know that…”

Connor lets himself squeeze Evan’s shoulder comfortingly. “Right now, all we have to focus on is the governor’s party. Anything in between and after that, we’ll worry about when we get there.”

Evan smiles at him hopefully. “You’re right…” Despite the layers of clothing, his skin tingles pleasantly under the pressure of Connor’s hand. So when he pulls it away, he tries his best not to seem too disappointed. _God, I’m so freaking needy,_ he internally berates himself.

“We should get going again,” he suggests, hoisting himself up. Normally, he would’ve helped Evan get up but then again he can’t keep risking normal anymore. Because with every lingering touch or stare they share, it only fuels his cravings for him even more. If he doesn’t hold back… Connor might just implode and there’s no telling what he might do.


	21. Send a Flood to Drown Them Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the governor's party around the corner, the circus faces a new obstacle

The week before the governor’s dinner, they had all agreed to arrive early so they could get as much practice in until then. However, when they get to the big top, they’re not prepared for the scene they encounter. They look on in horror at the sloppily painted words covering the main entrance of the tent. The graffiti consists of “GO AWAY FREAKS”, “LOCK THEM UP” and a variation of other slurs written in smeared, black paint.

“Sorry, Larry, I tried to clean it up before ya got here but it’s not coming off,” Mr. O’Malley apologizes.

“Thanks for trying, at least… They didn’t get inside, right?” Mr. O’Malley shakes his head and Larry sighs in relief. “Who the hell would do this? God, and so close to the governor’s visit.”

“Probably the Wellers,” Gale mutters bitterly. Jonavy tries to hush him but he continues, “What, it’s true? They’ve been the ones giving us trouble.”

“Simon and Bert Weller?” Larry asks. “Why would they have anything to do with this?”

Everyone shifts nervously realizing that they had failed to mention their ordeal with them. Ultimately, Zoe decides to come clean to her father. “The night we went out to celebrate those idiots showed up. They caused a scene but nothing else happened,” she assures.

“Yeah, nothing else happened _that_ night,” Gale interjects. “Except afterward, Mason got his ass kicked and Jo got hurt in the process.”

“You snitch,” Jonavy scolds huffily.

“What?” Larry exclaims as equally confused as some of the other members.

“Wait, when did this happen?” Zoe presses.

Mason rubs his nape nervously. “Last week… These guys jumped me and the Wellers were encouraging them.”

“Why am I just learning about all of this now?” His patience wearing thin.

“We didn’t want you to freak out because a few assholes were acting up. We thought we could handle it ourselves, Dad,” Connor admits.

“You call this handling it,” Larry snaps, motioning to the vandalism. He sees their faces fall with shame like a litter of scolded puppies. He takes a deep breath to calm himself. “I’m sorry… but you can’t keep these things from me or even from each other. Even if you think it’s not serious, we need to tell each other what’s going on so that we can fix it together…”

They meekly nod their heads in agreement. “We’re sorry too, Dad,” Zoe apologizes, followed by everyone else.

“I accept your apology… Now, let’s go inside to practice,” he requests tiredly. He turns to Mr. O’Malley. “In the meantime, I need you to go into town and buy some paint to cover this up.”

“Yes, sir,” he agrees.

Everyone starts filing inside except for Evan who is lagging a bit and Connor notices that he’s fixated on the words written with cruel intentions. “Evan, come on. It’s not worth looking at,” he assures compassionately.

“I know it’s not… which is why I’m gonna help Mr. O’Malley cover it up.”

“Ev, you don’t have to do that.”

“I want to though. Besides, I don’t have to practice for a solo so I’m the ideal person to help out,” he reasons.

Connor knows that once Evan gets an idea in his head, he’s not likely to let it slide. “Alright… If you really want to then I won’t stop you. You know where to find me if you need help.”

“Got it,” he says with a salute. After Connor enters, Evan turns to see that Mr. O’Malley is already heading towards town. “Mr. O’Malley, wait up,” Evan calls out.

The mustached man stops in his tracks and sees Evan sprinting towards him. “What do ya want, boyo? Got a busy day ahead of me,” he grumbles.

“Sorry, I-I know that. That’s why I wanted to help,” he explains hurriedly.

Mr. O’Malley eyes him suspiciously. However, after giving it some thought he just shrugs. “Sure, be my guest. If ya get bored that won’t be my problem.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t,” he promises. “Actually, I have an idea that I want to run by you…”

-

The task practically takes the whole day, but the two men were able to complete their project before it started getting dark out. By the time they finished, they have paint splattered on their clothes and hands. The stern man analyzes their handiwork and appears impressed, or at least his version of what that means. “Not bad.”

“Do you think they’ll like it?” he asks self-consciously.

“It’s better than what was there before so I’d think so.” He gives him a hearty pat on the back. “I’ll go let everyone know we’re done here.”

While he goes gets everyone else, Evan anxiously awaits outside. The Murphys are the first to emerge from inside with an irritated Larry huffing, “Is this really necessary for a clean-up job?”

“Trust me, ya’re gonna wanna see.”

“Fine. Let’s see…” His voice trails off as he turns to face the tent.

“What is it, Dad?” Zoe wonders before taking a look at it herself. “Wow…” she gasps in amazement.

Connor and the rest of the gang soon join as well and their eyes widen as they scan the brilliant sight. Instead of offensive words surrounding the entrance, an ornately painted design fans the border of the vestibule. The painting extends along the sides of the tent with bright colors swirling like how Evan imagined the aurora borealis shine in the night sky. Along with the barrage of colors, there are silhouetted figures dancing, juggling, horse riding and flying on the trapeze. Evan even thought to include the image of a shadowy dog and pig running around with the rest of the characters.

“Evan… it’s beautiful,” Connor gawks.

Everyone approves as they express their compliments to him. “Thank you, guys… I know I should’ve asked for permission first, Mr. Murphy—“

“It’s fine, Evan,” Larry assures. “You did an amazing job!”

“Evan, you did all of this?” Zoe asks elatedly.

“Kind of… Mr. O’Malley helped too though,” Evan credits.

“Don’t sell yarself short, boyo. Ya did most of the work and it was yare idea from the get.”

“Still, thank you both for your hard work… At least something good came out of all of this. Now, that we got this fixed though we have to keep this from happening again.”

“Actually, Larry, I was meaning to talk to you about that,” Ezra speaks up. “I’ve got some planks and barbed wire that we use to keep the coyotes away from the livestock. That should probably keep the real ‘hoodlums’ away.”

“And I was thinking, I could maybe get a few friends to keep watch at night,” Titus proposes. “At least until we get the fence up.”

Larry nods in approval. “That’d be great… thank you.”

Zoe gives her dad a side-hug. “See, Dad, we got this…”

He hugs her back. “I know… Alright, guys, it’s been a long day so why don’t we call it quits and get a good night’s rest. We’ve got a long week ahead of us.”

Everyone happily accepts this and make their way back inside to grab their belongings while Connor halts Evan for a bit.

“Uh, what’s up?” Evan wonders.

“Nothing, I just wanted to let you know that… you’re amazing.” He takes a moment to admire the painting again but mainly so he doesn’t have to see Evan’s reaction to his compliment. “You amaze me every day with everything you do…”

Evan can feel a warmth spreading throughout his body at Connor’s kindness. “Thanks but I don’t know about that. I just… I’d do anything for this place. It’s my home and… you’re my family.” _You’re everything to me…_

Connor turns to face Evan again with a faint smile. “You’re just proving my point even more...”

**Author's Note:**

> If you like this and want more let me know. I live for your comments and feedback ^_^  
> Also, open ended request here! If anyone wants to make fanart for this fic I would love to see it and gladly insert into the story <3


End file.
